When It Hurts So Bad You’re Afraid You’ll Die
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Are you hurting so badly that you’re afraid you’ll die? Do you have pain that is tearing you up so badly, you’re not sure you’re going to make it through?
I understand. And if that’s you, I have an encouraging word for you today.
I was driving down the road, not sure if I was even going to make it home. My chest felt hollow, like the place where my heart should have been beating strongly was empty. Except you’d think that an emptiness like that would leave zero feeling behind …
… and it didn’t.
This emptiness left nothing but pain behind.
If it can even be called pain.
Agony, is more like it. It felt like a death blow.
I truly wasn’t sure I was going to make it. Can you die from a broken heart?
Emotional pain can be as bad as physical pain, I think.
And sometimes when you’re in that kind of pain, it’s not a matter of asking God to fix the situation. Sometimes, the most pressing need you feel is just God, make it stop hurting.
Help me, Lord. Help. Please help me. Keep my heart beating another minute. Help me take one more breath.
And please, God, make it stop hurting.
The only thing I knew to do was to call on the name of Jesus. To cry out.
I was trying to hang on to my next breath, not sure if I could take the breath after that by myself, I kept breathing the same prayer:
God, help me. Please, help me.
I turned on my John Paul Jackson I Am CD (see YouTube video below), and the beautiful tones of strings and drums and the heartbeat of God filled my car.
Along with the beautiful sound of His names:
- I Am God who comforts you.
- I Am God who is near to those who have a broken heart.
- I Am your Peace and Calm.
- I Am God. Nothing is too hard for Me.
- I Am Jehovah Rapha, your Healer.
- I Am the Bright Cloud that comes to you.
- I Am the Living Water of life.
- I Am the Balm of Gilead.
- I Am the Altar of peace for your fear.
- I Am God who restores your soul.
- I Am He who weeps with those who weep.
I Am, I Am, I Am.
In that moment, I didn’t have the strength to cling to promises.
All I could do was cling to His Person. To cling to my Daddy’s neck and beg Him to help me.
But as I listened to the sonorous tones of His names rolling over my soul and spirit, His Person became enough. Because Who He Is is enough.
And remembering Who He Is comforted my heart.
That day, as I drove down the road and looked at Him and who He is, the pain dulled. He comforted me–not with a change of circumstances or a prophetic word, but simply by virtue of Who He Is.
Related: Encouraging Word: You’re Going to Bloom, Not Drown
Are you hurting so badly that you’re afraid you’ll die?
I don’t have a word about fixing your situation today, although I believe God can and will fix your situation if you will pray. In Romans 8:28, He promised to work all things out for your good if you love Him and are called according to His purpose (which you are).
But I do have a word for you about stopping the pain. No matter what you are going through, Father God can stop the pain when you look at Him.
When you magnify Him. When you look at Him bigger.
When you look at Him so big that He takes up your entire horizon.
When you do that, there’s no room in your field of vision to look at your pain. And making God bigger in your view–thus squeezing out your pain–helps make that terrible hurt stop.
Do you hurt so badly you’re afraid you’ll die?
Listen to this CD (see YouTube video below) by the late John Paul Jackson. Let it play over and over if you can. And look at Him bigger.
Because His name is Comfort. It’s who He is, and as you ask Him to be who He already IS in your life, you’ll find healing and encouragement for your heart.
Does this message bring hope to your heart today? If so, please leave a comment below. I want to hear from you. And if you are hurting so badly today that you’re afraid you’ll die, know that I am praying for you.
Related: Music Review of John Paul Jackson’s I AM: 365 Names of God CD
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I really liked John Paul Jackson. And I know this feeling. I think that the devil and death are nearby and that God is protecting us. Jesus is the only name to call.
How did you know, Jamie? Obviously because I’m not the only one going through this. It all started early this year, with my son and his family moving overseas. For years they have been my closest support and encouragement, and the only family members who truly share my faith. I felt bereft. And to think that I believed this was the year when God’s long-standing promises to me would be fulfilled.
Within a month, it seemed every door was closing. The part time job I had disappeared when the company closed. My daughter and her family disowned me (and have not spoken to me since). My house started falling to pieces (literally as well as figuratively!), and my property was overrun with a toxic weed. My brother was diagnosed with heart complications resulting from pulmonary fibrosis. Three months of house repairs followed.
Then in July I was diagnosed with a parasitic infection that I’d picked up in India five years earlier, lurking in my gut until such time as my immunity was low enough for it to take over! Every treatment has since proved ineffective – although for a couple of weeks I did have a reprieve (after my Minister prayed for me), when I believed I’d been healed. But it didn’t last. Now I wake up each morning with blurred vision, diarrhoea, exhaustion, and wondering if and when it will ever end! At least I can have some understanding of what Job went through!!
I know the main trigger (humanly speaking) is the stress factor – as stress has surrounded me throughout the year, and I’ve been studied the effects of stress on both physical and emotional health throughout my nursing career. Along with stress, is a heavy feeling of hopelessness. Although my faith in God is still strong, I often feel so weak physically that all I can do is cry out ‘Help!’ I do wonder how long it will be before He answers my prayers and the situation changes. Then I remember that, when Job’s time of testing was over, God restored everything… even his nagging wife!
Now that I’ve bared my soul, I’ll listen to the CD by John Paul Jackson. Thanks for allowing me to share my story with you. Jamie.
Hi Jamie
I agree with what you say about emotional and spiritual pain being as equal to physical pain…. I remember when my husband left; I remember thinking it would be less painful if I had rope tied to each limb and attached at the opposite end to four horses… and then those horses galloping off in different directions. My ‘one flesh’ being ripped apart was brutal beyond what I could ever describe.
Blessings to you dear lady… you are a blessing to me!
You certainly nailed this for me today, Jamie. No need to give you the litany of woes, but both physical pain and the same kinds of things Ann Johnstone is talking about. You would think after one year or after eight years the pain would lessen, but it can resurge, especially when physical pain lowers the barriers. And, crying out the Lord ended the physical pain and faith crept back into the wounds and scars. The naming of the attributes of God is awesome. Thank you for that, too. God bless you for your faithfulness — as I think I have said before!
Thank you so incredibly much for that word of encouragement. I really need it. I feel sooo much anguish for His people n the rest of the world. May Father continue to use u to speak into lives that ur words transform.
So blessed n much love u amazing woman of God.
God bless u
You nailed this for me today. Sometimes the pain in my life (marriage falling apart, husband left home for no particular reason) makes me think that God is so far away. But I trust that His time is not mine. Thank you for the article Jamie.
Hi Jamie
Thank you. You’re message was just what I needed. I spent the evening/night the day before you posted this crying, asking the Lord why I am like this, why did He make me like this, I am distracted, forgetful….. what is my purpose, my talents, why was I created, etc…….
Why and what happened that made me question all this is too personal to write online in detail.
I am often told I am dumb/stupid and told that even other people also think I am dumb at church. Granted, I get very distracted, don’t pay attention at times (in my thoughts ), chew my fingers at times (sorry, gross!), I fidget a lot, and husband says I am only not distracted for things I like. I miss or don’t see all the details when cleaning the house (ex end up with a missed dusty corner of the floor or can only see the streaks on the granite counter in the morning light ). No perfect proverb 31 wife here. Far from it. He often said something along the lines of.. that he married a kid.
I never realized how prevalent it was that people could look at others and say that they were stupid, dumb, or look down on others. Or to what extent people smile at your face but can talk bad behind your back. To what extent people wear masks.
Granted we shouldn’t air our personal dirty laundry so I know I have to not share what is going on at home with anyone and maybe that is wearing a mask too.
Many people think I am blessed but they don’t know the other side of my life. He doesn’t treat me at church the way he often does at home. He’s even more impatient. 3 weeks into our marriage I asked him why he couldn’t treat me nice like he does people at church.
He’s not always bad and has done some nice things for me.
I’ve always tried to walk in love, give people the benefit of the doubt and realise not everyone is like me or has to be like me. Naive. I am now learning to have more discernment with the Lord. But not everyone is like that.
I just pray that the Lord will guard my heart. That even if I am surrounded by negative people, that I will not be infected by them or their ways.
This morning I woke up, did a pg test and was negative. I felt a pain that even my physical heart hurt. The pain was so much I thought I would die. I was getting angry but I knew that wasn’t the right thing to do. So with painful tears on my eyes , I cried out to the Lord asking Him to cover me . I wanted Him to shield me from pain , to take away the pain I felt and to keep me right by His side . I thought of asking for a PROPHETIC word from a group I have joined but inside me I knew that all I wanted is to feel Him holding me and telling me that everything”S gonna be ok. I lay in bed, I imagined Jesus, this tall handsome man with a smile on my face. I imagined Him standing right next to me and telling me all what He is ; the person He is, just the way you wrote in your post. The pain drifted away little by little and I feel asleep .
Please pray for a supernatural miracle for me to conceive. Thank you for posting , was really encouraged. Blessings Esther
Hi Esther. I’m so sorry you are going through that. I will continue to pray for you. I’m so glad you rested in Jesus’ arms today and received His rest and comfort and ministry. That’s the only way to really find healing for your heart.
Much love and blessings to you.
Jamie