When Sexual Contact Leaves You Shattered

I wish I could tell you the stories of healing. They’re not mine to tell; but, oh, if you could hear them.

They are the stories of so many sisters and brothers who have talked with me, often weeping, over the hurt and pain they feel after past sexual contact–both voluntary and involuntary (e.g. in the case of abuse or molestation) left them shattered.

The stories of precious people who have been tormented by memories all their lives …

… OR who have choked back the hurt all their lives, only to have all that torment come raging to the surface.

All of them are precious, wounded daughters and sons of God. People who have been wounded so deeply, so terribly, by other people. Hurt by sin, and hurt by sinning people.

Oh, beloved. If only I could tell you the stories. My heart breaks to think of it.

But maybe you don’t need me to tell you the stories … because maybe you’ve lived the story yourself.

Maybe you are one of those people who have had something precious stolen from you. Maybe you were tormented and abused. Maybe you have lived your whole life, unable to get rid of the memory. Unable to dispel those haunting thoughts.

Or, maybe you are one of those people who have given something precious and beautiful away, only to regret it later. Only to find yourself wishing, years down the road, that you could undo those past mistakes.

Beloved, if that describes you, YOU CAN BE WHOLE AGAIN.

You can be healed. You can be free. Your soul can be healed. The continuous torment can cease. You can be healthy once more.

I’ve seen people get free time and time again … using a little-discussed truth found in Scripture, the blood of Jesus, and the power of prayer.

Does this describe you? Have you been tormented by memories of sexual contact that has left you shattered–whether through abuse or any other relationship?

And if so, are you ready to get free?

The little-known, little-studied truth that can set you free is found in 1 Corinthians 6:15-17, which says:

Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a harlot? Certainly not! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a harlot is one body with her? For ‘the two,’ He says, ‘shall become one flesh.’ But he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him” (1 Corinthians 6:15-17).

What’s the significance of this Scripture?

When the apostle Paul wrote this passage under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, he was chastising the Corinthian church for being involved in sexual sin. Some readers might look at that and think, “Well, I didn’t join myself to a harlot. I was abused, and I had no choice in the matter.”

If you’re thinking that, stay with me, okay? The point I want to make applies whether sexual contact happened voluntarily or involuntarily (e.g. in molestation or abuse).

Here’s the truth Paul wrote about that we don’t often understand:

When a man and woman have sexual relations, the Bible says that they are taking their body parts and making them parts of the other person. Paul cites Genesis 2:24, which says:

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

Jesus mentioned this same Scripture in Mark 10:8. So we know that, the way God engineered our bodies, when we are joined sexually to someone else, there is a literal joining. The two bodies become parts of one another.

This is well and good within the safe boundaries of marriage as God intended it: one man and one woman, committed to each other in covenant for life.

That joined-ness and unity that comes with marriage is a good and holy thing. That’s the way God intended marriage and sex to work.

But the same truth also applies when someone abuses you sexually. It also applies when you have voluntary sexual relations with anyone who is not your spouse.

The same principle is true whether you are inside a Biblical marriage or not. If someone forces himself or herself on you and you are victimized sexually, your body still becomes part of that person’s body and their body becomes part of yours. Even though you didn’t want for that to happen.

And even if you have sexual relations voluntarily with someone who is not your spouse, you still become part of them, and they become part of you. That’s what the Bible says.

In the case of abuse, of course, victims are traumatized from the start.

But in voluntary cases, sometimes the trauma doesn’t begin until after the relationship fails …

and you wish you could forget that person …

and you wish you could stop being mad …

and you wish you could forgive that person …

and you want so badly to stop thinking about it …

but you can’t.

Beloved: the reason you can’t “just get over it” is because parts of that person are still attached to you!

Even if you didn’t give your parts away voluntarily! Even if you were victimized! And even if you did give yourself to someone on purpose. Either way, unless you have already broken those parts off you through prayer, those parts are still attached to you!

No wonder you can’t forget. No wonder you’re haunted by memories. No wonder you are still wounded, all these years later.

Oh, but beloved. There’s good news too: Jesus is the Healer.

And He’ll heal you right now.

But whether you lost a part of yourself because you were victimized OR because of a voluntary act, Jesus can bring the pieces of you back together again.

Because, in EVERY story I mentioned at the top of this blog post, Jesus brought healing to those tormented, often victimized individuals. Every time, He healed them in an immediately-noticeable-to-them way.

How? Through a simple prayer.

Now, I’m not saying the total healing process is simple. I am simply saying that this step is simple.

The healing process, as we’ve already discussed in the series about healing from abandonment and rejection, is time-consuming. It’s worth it, but it’s time-consuming. I recognize that, and I’m not diminishing that in any way.

However, you will be happy to hear that this particular step is simple. And if you have already prayed through to forgive from your heart (which is different than just saying “I forgive,”) and have already broken soul ties with the person who hurt you, then you’re ready for this step.

So how I’ve seen Jesus heal so many people when sexual contact leaves them shattered:

It’s a simple prayer; but it’s so, so effective. Oh beloved, I hope you will pray this prayer if you are hurting from sexual contact in the past.

I’ll write a short, sample prayer below. First, though, I’ll tell you the basic gist of the prayer.

In the prayer, you:

• Confess any unconfessed sin to God. (E.g. If you have purposely had sexual relations with someone other than your spouse in a Biblical marriage, and you haven’t confessed that to God yet so you could receive forgiveness.)
• Ask the Lord to forgive you for any sins you committed on your part, and to wash you clean in the blood of Jesus.
• Ask Jesus to fill you with His Holy Spirit.
• THEN, THE BIG PART: You ask Father God to bring back to you any parts of yourself that are with other people, washed in Jesus’ blood.
• After that, you ask Father God to send back to other people all the parts of them that are with you, washed in Jesus’ blood.
• Finally, ask Father to make you whole again and apply His healing Balm of Gilead to your body, soul, heart, and spirit; healing you so completely that there will not even be a scar.

Beloved, it works. Holy Spirit showed me how to walk someone through this prayer before I had ever heard of anything like it, and it worked. The person felt immediate freedom. Later, when I began to study inner healing ministry, I found out that others are praying similar prayers in inner healing ministry.

Because it works.

Are you ready to be healed? Pray this sample prayer, and make it your own (applied to your own circumstances) as you pray:

“Dear Heavenly Father,

I come before You in Jesus’ name. Father, please show me any unconfessed sin in my heart right now. (If He shows you something, confess it here.)

Father, please forgive me for these and every sin I have committed. Wash me clean in the blood of Jesus, and fill me with Your Holy Spirit. Thank You for forgiving me.

Father God, Your Word says that parts of me are with other people with whom I’ve had sexual contact. Your Word also says that parts of those people are with me. Father God, I don’t want to carry those parts of other people around anymore. And I want to be healed and whole myself.

So Father God, in Jesus’ name, I ask right now that You would bring back to me every part of me that is with anyone else, washed in Your blood, Jesus.

And Father God, right now, I release into Your hands every part of every person I’ve had unholy sexual contact with. Please send those parts of those people back to those people, washed in Your blood, Jesus.

Father, I am ready to be healed and whole. Please cover me with Your blood, Jesus. Apply Your healing Balm to my body, soul, heart, and spirit. Fill me with Your Holy Spirit. Let healing come so deeply, and thoroughly right now that there will not even be a scar.

Thank You, Lord Jesus. Thank You for paying the price for me to be free. Thank You for shedding Your blood so that I can have access to You and pray this bold prayer. I believe You have answered, and I thank You that I have received.

In Jesus’ name. Amen.”

Now take a deep breath. Beloved, Jesus just answered your prayer, because He said He would!

Dear friend, there is healing in the name of Jesus–and there’s POWER in His blood.

Even if you’ve been terribly wounded, Jesus can heal you. He can put all your pieces back together again in beautiful, healed YOU. Ask Him to do this, and He will.

Does this message speak to your heart today? Did Holy Spirit use this message to minister to you? If so, you are welcome to leave a comment below. Or, if you’d like to tell me your testimony confidentially, you’re welcome to email me via the Contact page.