4 Keys to RECEIVING Healing from Father Wounds

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Are you hurting because of what a father-type figure (dad, stepdad, uncle, grandpa, mentor, male pastor, male supervisor, et cetera) did to you–or even because of what they failed to do? If so, Jesus wants to heal you from all father wounds TODAY. In this article, we will discuss four keys to the actual process of receiving that healing into your heart.

Here’s where we are in the process:

After you have self-diagnosed or realized that you have father wounds (step 1), and after you have recognized the importance of the position of “father” and of the father’s blessing (step 2) in your life, it’s time to receive healing from Jesus for those father wounds.

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    And you CAN heal!

    Jesus paid the price with His precious blood for you to be totally and completely healed of all pain, sickness, and disease–including emotional pain. And He desires to heal the damage that every sinful, fallen human being did to you. As it says in Isaiah 53:5:

    But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement for our peace was upon Him, and by His stripes we are healed” (Isaiah 53:5 NKJV).

    However, to start down the healing path, we first have to prepare our heart to receive.

    People struggle with receiving sometimes. Especially when people are subconsciously working for love, they struggle to be able to just plain receive from the Lord, without having to work for what they receive.

    This means that many people with father wounds struggle to receive, because when we are wounded by our father figures, we typically DO develop a mentality that tells us we have to work for love.

    So here’s how to open your heart to RECEIVE the healing from Jesus that you need:

    There are four steps, and these apply both to every person now and on an ongoing basis.

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    Step 1: Acknowledge that Father God is totally different from your human father figures.

    God the Father is perfect and good in every way. He is kind and loving; kindness and love radiate out from Him. He is just and merciful. He is always present; He will never abandon you or hurt you. His love is constant and unfading. He cannot tell a lie; He is not subject to temptation; and He never changes.

    Human father figures, by contrast, are fallen human beings–one and all. Even if you really love your father figure, he is still a fallen human being. Sin still besets him. He is still subject to temptation. He has hurts and wounds of his own, and sometimes those hurts and wounds drive him to act a certain way, even if he doesn’t know he is being driven by hurts and wounds.

    Long story short: Human fathers will fail us. They will sin against us, because we are fallen beings who live in a sinful world. But God never will:

    • Father God is totally loving and kind. He will never hurt you.
    • Father God is present everywhere at once. He will never leave you nor forsake you.
    • Father God’s love is not conditional. He loves you 100% right now, no matter where you are in life at this moment.

    Our Heavenly Father–God–is a perfect Father in every way. No human can make that claim, ever.

    This is important because it shows you that you can separate your perception of “fathering” from what human father figures have done to you. Humans have corrupted our perception of what true fathering really is, because the only true Father is Father God–and He is perfect, kind, good, and loving in every way.

    So, in order to receive healing, we have to look at every bad behavior our human fathers have ever committed against us, whether knowingly or unknowingly, intentionally or unintentionally, and say:

    “That wasn’t real fathering at all.”

    Go ahead; try it. Look at every bit of fathering that has ever been done in your life by humans that wasn’t just like God, and say out loud:

    “That wasn’t real fathering at all.”

    You will find this to be remarkably freeing, because we HAVE to separate our perception of REAL fathering from the messed-up processes that human father figures have worked on us.

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    Step 2: Acknowledge the truth about how your human fathers failed you.

    A lot of people struggle with this because they don’t look reality square in the face. If you want to RECEIVE healing from Jesus for all your father wounds, you have to be able to admit that you have wounds. In other words:

    • You can’t deny that you are wounded just because you love your dad.
    • You can’t deny that you are wounded just because your dad thought he was doing what seemed best at the time.
    • You can’t deny that you are wounded because you don’t want anyone else to think badly of your dad. This is between you and God–not you, God, and other people.
    • You can’t deny that you are wounded out of a misguided understanding of what “honoring your father and your mother” means.

    If you’re going to receive healing from Jesus for anything, you have to admit that you need healing in that area.

    So even if you love your father figures …

    Even if they really did do what they thought was best at the time, but their actions had unintended (painful) consequences in your life in any way

    … And even if they had good points, or did the best they could, or acted out of their own hurts and wounds and were therefore incapable of doing any better because they were so wounded themselves …

    It doesn’t matter. Between you and God, you have to admit that they failed you, and that their failure(s) had painful consequences in your life.

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    It is only the truth that makes you free, and you cannot be free without acknowledging the truth.

    As Jesus taught us in John 8:31-32:

    “Then Jesus said to those Jews who believed Him, ‘If you abide in My word, you are My disciples indeed. And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free’” (John 8:31-32 NKJV).

    So acknowledge the truth about the fact that your human father figures really did hurt you, whether they meant to or not. And when you acknowledge that truth, you will be one step closer to receiving full healing from father wounds from our precious Lord Jesus, by whose stripes you are healed.

    Step 3: Forgive your earthly father figures from your heart.

    Matthew 6:15 tells us, “But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses,” and Matthew 18:35 says: “So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses” [emphasis mine]. We have to forgive our father figures from our heart.


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    Now, before you read on, you might have said, “I’ve already done that. I’ve already forgiven.” But I’m here to tell you today that there are specific instructions for forgiveness in the Bible that many people never pick up on, and so their method of forgiveness hasn’t actually brought them healing. But in this series, I’m going to teach you how to implement those methods (they’re very simple and easy), and you will be able to forgive in a way that brings HEALING.

    Know this: If you have ANY pain remaining in your heart at all, there is either some aspect of the situation that you have not thought of yet to forgive for, OR you have not forgiven from your heart using these special forgiveness techniques the Bible teaches us to use.

    So don’t say right off, “I’ve already forgiven.” Just hang with me and read the rest of this series, okay?

    But also, know this important point:

    You do have to be willing to forgive all your father figures from your heart in order to receive healing from father wounds. Some people are not willing at all. But if you’re not willing, you won’t be able to receive healing from Jesus for father wounds. Your heart simply will not open to receive.

    Never fear; Jesus can help you become willing to forgive, if you’re not already there.

    Every time I’m really mad about something, or really hurt, I sit before the Lord and ask Him to change my heart to be willing to forgive. I ask Him to take away my stony heart, and to give me a heart of flesh–His heart. I also ask Him to take away my old spirit, and to give me His Spirit.

    Also, I ask Jesus to help me forgive the same way He forgave the Romans who murdered Him, and the same way He forgave the thief on the cross.

    And EVERY time, He does. It may take me a minute or an hour of sitting before Him and begging Him to work on my heart, but invariably He brings me around. He will ALWAYS honor our genuine request for His help to change our hearts.

    Just remember that healing is 100% dependent on your being willing to forgive. So if you’re not there yet, sit before the Lord TODAY and ask Him to get you there: to help you be willing to forgive completely and from your heart.

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    Step 4: On an ongoing basis, to walk in your healing and stay healed, you have to learn what Father God is like from scratch.

    If your earthly father figures have hurt you, you will have developed an unholy, inaccurate understanding of what real fathering is. To heal from father wounds and stay healed, you will need to throw that paradigm completely away and, from now on, decide that you will get your understanding of “fatherhood”–and of what REAL fathers do and say–from God’s Word.

    If you will meditate on what God’s Word says about who Father God is and how He acts, you will be completely transformed:

    • You will get to where you feel always loved, instead of always rejected or hated.
    • You will come to understand that you have a good, good Father in Father God, and that He will do only good to you all the days of your life.
    • You will stop fearing that people will abandon you. You will be made perfect in the love of Father God, and you will come to know that you know that you know that He will never leave you nor forsake you.
    • He will also show you His unconditional love, and you will be filled with His Holy Spirit of adoption; in the bliss of which you will cry out “Abba! Father!” to Him from the depths of your being.

    Sound good? It is. Pray over these things, and then proceed to the next installment of this article series (to be released in a few days)!

    In the meantime, is this information on healing from father wounds speaking to your heart? We pray that Jesus will minister to you as you read this article series. Please leave a comment below if He is touching your heart!

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