Confessions of an Unlikely Worship Leader: On Being Myself

Confessions of an Unlikely Worship Leader | Free blog series by Jamie Rohrbaugh | FromHisPresence.comHave you ever stopped to think, “Maybe I just need to be myself”?

Last night I led worship at the healing rooms again. I approached the evening with a bit of trepidation and a lot of prayer. I really just wanted the ministry of the Lord to break out on everyone. But I was thinking about the “what-ifs”:

  • What if other people don’t engage in worship?
  • What if I pick the wrong songs?
  • What if people don’t like the songs?
  • How exactly does one try to make sure that 100% of the people present receive a touch from the Lord, 100% of the time?

So I laid on my face beforehand and poured out my heart to the Lord.

  • I reminded Him that I can’t personally do this in my flesh, but that His Word says that where two or three are gathered in His Name, there He is in the midst of them.
  • I asked Him to minister to each person Himself… to walk among us and touch us.
  • I asked Him to literally play through me and to smear the music with His anointing, and with the sound of Heaven.

I told Him how much I am personally desperate for His touch and His ministry and asked Him to touch me especially. (I think our honesty and willingness to admit our need pleases God. It keeps us humble.)

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    Then I went to play.

    I felt like the Lord wanted me to try something a bit different, and it took courage to do it.

    The last few weeks, I have been trying to play mostly songs that people know, so they will be able to engage in worship. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that; but I don’t really know, because I’m not a trained worship leader. The songs that people know have worked ok for the most part. However, they are not where my heart lies, and I sometimes feel like I’m just performing when I play them… like a circus monkey in a box.

    So I felt like the Lord wanted me to cease striving with those songs, and just be myself. The gift He has given me is a love of His Word. My calling is to the Word of God. My passion is ministering the Word of God. I felt like He wanted me to just focus on His Word and let all of Him flow through all of me.

    I opened to Isaiah 40. My other musician friend and I vamped on four chords (played the same four chords over and over), and I started singing the passages out of Isaiah that I like the most.

    One verse led to another and the Lord sat down. Everybody got into it. There was just such a supernatural flow as the Word came forth. And JOY! There was so much joy. I felt like the Lord was speaking directly to me, even though I was the one singing! He was taking away all the pressure and stress and everything yucky from my day, and renewing and refreshing me. It was like a pure river of cool, blue water was just running all over my spirit. It was amazing.

    The Lord really touched everybody else too. After we got going, I wasn’t worried about the songs or the people. We were just playing and singing the Word. I didn’t have to jump through any hoops for Him to move. I was just being myself, and letting Him do the work.

    Maybe there’s something to this “being myself” thing.

    Have you noticed a difference in how God moves between when you try to do what other people expect of you, and when you just forget about that and be yourself? What kind of results do you see when you’re just yourself? Please leave a comment below!


    1. I have. When I met Him at 9, I noticed the way He “raised” me up–made me bright (I’d suddenly answer topics I didn’t even give attention to before, and sometimes He just whisper the answer in class recitations in whole paragraph!) made me more creative, made me more bold and courageous, made me speak and approach people in high places, made me sing (I’ve always wanted to sing but scared of people), made me draw (teachers point to me for drawing contests), made me a leader, and one of the most crazy and happiest one, made me the girl lead of a school play. Not only that my “prince charming” in the play was the campus’ crush, and another crush played a role close to the main character, me. And that like so unlikely because why would the school pick me as a lead when I am just a girl who happened to be in the 3rd curriculum/group of sections. There were top talents in the first section, but, man, my teacher happened to just create a production/play and made me the lead. I mean, seriously, God has been tickling me and making me sooo happy. Those are things beyond my imagination. I was like lifted up with a rocketship. He knows my desires. He knows the things and talents He gave me. And He knows were to put me to complete it. And while all of it happened, I noticed one thing, I was just being me. He let me be me while created a wonderful story and success around it. Those were just my experiences when I was 9-11.

    2. virginia ericksen says:

      my name is Virginia Ericksen
      i have been looking for the Holy Spirit for a long time, I listen to videos on mass on the internet that I follow 2 priests. God talks to them and give the world what is coming, it doesn’t not look good. want they have I what, they have so very much. I cannot kneel due to 2 knee surgeries. I have been baptized twice. Said the sinner’s prayer’s many times. Because I was going to a filled Church. I lost myself, so now. i never received the Holy Spirit. I am looking for Him, I know he is inside of me but I cannot utter any words I do not know any of His language. It won’t come out. So do some people just do not say anything in tongues.

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