If so, then maybe you can identify with this, because I’ve been struggling with something lately.
Here’s what I have been struggling with:
If my dream never happens, can I be happy with what I have now?
If my dream never happens, can I still be thankful for what God has given me, instead of bemoaning what I do not have?
You may think those are easy questions, but trust me; they're not.
See, this dream is burning in my heart. It’s been burning in my heart for many years—more than a decade, in fact. I’ve gotten to taste it a very few times. However, other than those few tastes, I have not gotten to partake of this dream yet. Not the way I imagine it, anyway.
To be perfectly realistic, I have to admit that Papa has blessed me in many other ways. He has built a foundation in my life so that my dream could happen in one moment, and I’d be prepared. That foundation is a blessing whether anything is ever added to it or not.
Additionally, Papa God has also blessed me with an amazing marriage, a home more beautiful than any home I ever dreamed I would live in, a wonderful job, a wonderful church family, relationships with people I adore, and on and on.
He has blessed me, and I’m grateful. But am I grateful enough?
Could I be happy and thankful if my dream never happens?
Am I grateful enough that if He said “no” to my dream—which I don’t believe He will do, but work with me here—I would still be happy and thankful for what He HAS done?
Could I look at my marriage, my job, my friends, the foundation He has built in my life, and the ministry He has given me in writing and teaching, and say “It is enough”?
If He never gave me one thing more, could I be happy with what I have? Could I trust His sovereign wisdom and know that, as a good Daddy, He will only give me what is best for me? Can I trust Him and believe that He did not give me this one thing more because, somehow, it would not have been a blessing if He had?
When I begin to ponder these things, I realize how UNgrateful I truly am:
- I have spent so much time longing and wishing and dreaming about THEN that I have not been thankful for NOW.
- I have looked so hard and long into the future at THAT and I have failed to honor THIS.
- In my heart, I have despised these things that He has given me, wanting something else instead.
- I have given myself over to the idolatry of wanting my dream more than I have wanted to obey Him and be happy now.
So I look to Heaven, and the only thing I can think of to say is:
Father, forgive me. I am so sorry.
I am sorry I have despised You and dishonored Your Spirit and Your work in my life.
I am sorry for not being thankful. Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
And Lord… please help me. Please help me to fully embrace what You are doing now. Help me to thank You for it like You deserve to be thanked. Thank You for Your many blessings in my life. I honor You and praise You and humble myself before You. Only You can satisfy, Lord. I trust You to do what is best for me… and I thank You for whatever that is.
In Jesus’ name… amen.
What about you? If your dream never happens, could you still be grateful for what Papa HAS given you, instead of focusing on what He did not give you?
If not, would you join me in asking the Holy Spirit to search your heart and change your attitude?
Papa God deserves more thanksgiving than we could ever give. Let's spend the rest of our days thanking Him for what we do have, rather than yearning only for what we don't have, shall we?
Image courtesy of hinnamsaisuy / freedigitalphotos.net
This post is linked up at JuanaMikels.com.