Prayer to Tame Your Tongue

Beloved, do you need to tame your tongue? If you ever speak words that are harsh, critical, negative, or that do not build up other people, then the answer to that question ought to be a resounding YES.

I know we don’t always like to think that we are doing anything wrong, but a loose tongue is one of the biggest sins people have–and it’s one of the biggest factors that kills marriages, relationships, joy, hope, and many other good things that the Lord intends for you to enjoy and prosper in during your life.

What do I mean by “a loose tongue”?

When you speak harshly; when you criticize others; speak impure words and make ribald jokes; when you speak words of death and cursing instead of words of life and blessing … these are all examples of a loose tongue. And the Bible says that the tongue is a fire, full of deadly poison:

“And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell.

For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and creature of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by mankind. But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God.

Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring send forth fresh water and bitter from the same opening? Can a fig tree, my brethren, bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Thus no spring yields both salt water and fresh” (James 3:6-12 NKJV).

Not only that, but if we open our mouths at all, we only have permission to speak as God would speak.

That’s the straight Word of God, according to 1 Peter 4:

“If anyone speaks, let him speak as the oracles of God. If anyone ministers, let him do it as with the ability which God supplies, that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belong the glory and the dominion forever and ever. Amen” (1 Peter 4:11 NKJV).

And yet, so many Christians are hurting, ruining, or even killing both themselves, the people around them, and their opportunity for blessing–all by the words that they speak! O my friend, if you want to walk in all that God has for you, you have to tame your tongue!

God started dealing with me about this before I was even saved, but then He continued HARD after I got saved.

Before I got saved at 21 years old, I lived enthusiastically for the devil. I was full of so much hate, anger, rage, resentment, bitterness, pain, and every other thing. My friends and I made fun of people, talked negatively, and cut other people down all the time, just for fun. It was truly awful.

But before I even gave my life to Jesus, God brought material my way from various Christian motivational speakers who talked about the power of the tongue, and about the power of words, and how they impact attitude and circumstances. What they said made sense, and the Lord convicted me about the utter necessity of changing the way I spoke about myself, about others, and about circumstances. He started convicting me about even saying simple sentences like:

• “That makes me sick.”
• “There’s no way that’s going to happen.”
• “I love her to death.”

Anything you say that you would not want to be literally true is a word curse, and I was cursing myself all the time.

The Lord convicted me of that first, and then He started convicting me about how I was so mean to other people. I was purposefully mean, mocking and making fun of others, and cutting them down, because I was hurting myself–and subconsciously I wanted to make myself feel better. Isn’t that horrible? And thank God, He showed me just how horrible it was–and started changing my heart and my words.

Then, when I got saved at age 21, I received major DISCIPLINE from God about the words I spoke.

I deserved the discipline, too, and I wanted it! The discipline and conviction helped me. So, God convicted me and tied me to the altar–which I begged Him to do–to get the hatred, anger, rage, resentment, insecurity, and pain out of my heart–as well as all those negative words that went along with those things.

O beloved. I know I am not perfect in this area yet, but I have become so sensitive to it that I believe this is one of the biggest sins that destroys lives, marriages, friendships, blessings, and more! Speaking words that bring anything other than GRACE, love, and hope is absolutely inexcusable for a Christian!

Let’s look at some Scriptures that highlight the extreme importance of taming the tongue.

First, we are to ONLY be gentle:

“Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand” (Philippians 4:5 NKJV).

And death and life are in the power of the tongue, and we will reap the one (death versus life) that we choose:

“A man’s stomach shall be satisfied from the fruit of his mouth; from the produce of his lips he shall be filled. Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit” (Proverbs 18:20-21 NKJV).

And we are to only be merciful, kind, and loving to one another, even with our words:

“Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection” (Colossians 3:12-14 NKJV).

And absolutely NO corrupt word should come out of your mouth.

A “corrupt word” is anything that does not build people up (“edify”) or impart grace to the hearers:

“Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:29-32 NKJV).

And our words should contribute to LOVE, unity of the Spirit, and the bond of peace:

“I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:1-3 NKJV).

Anything else than that is sin.

Also, we must not make ribald jokes, say impure things, or anything that is not noble and lovely and praiseworthy:

“Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you” (Philippians 4:8-9 NKJV).

And any words that do not bring love, JOY, and peace to others are not from the Holy Spirit, for HIS fruit is love, joy, peace, and so on:

“Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit” (Galatians 5:19-25 NKJV).

O beloved! Are you convicted yet?

I have a real conviction about this issue, and have been working HARD with the Lord on this for years; and even I am convicted by reading these Scriptures over again! Help us, Lord!

O my beloved friend, we must speak words of LIFE!

Far be it from a Christian man or woman to speak words that bring death; critical words that tear others down and mock them; words that do not honor or build people up. Such behavior is beneath us! And if we are to reflect Christ, we absolutely MUST tame the tongue!

God can help with this, my friend. You do not have to fight this battle alone. His help is always for you, as the apostle Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians:

“And He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me” (2 Corinthians 12:9 NKJV).

If you will ask Him for His help to tame your tongue, He will help you!

Are you ready to ask for the Lord’s help to tame your tongue? If so, pray this with me:

“Dear Heavenly Father, I come to You in Jesus’ name.

Abba Father, You are good, and Your mercy endures forever. Thank You for being so kind to me, and thank You for always helping me when I need it–which is every moment of every day! I praise You for Your faithfulness and goodness, and for Your mercy, which is always on me because of Jesus, even though I don’t deserve it.

Abba Father, I need Your help today to tame my tongue.

Your Word says that we should speak only words of blessing; words that give grace to the hearer; words that impart life and not death. Your Word says we should be gentle, kind, and honoring to everybody. And yet, Abba, I find myself doing the opposite:

• speaking harsh words;
• not being gentle;
• speaking words of criticism, which tear people down instead of building them up;
• speaking words that bring cursing, rather than blessing;
• speaking words that hurt other people, and even that hurt myself;
• words that shame, humiliate, and embarrass others;
• speaking words that kill my relationships, that kill other people’s hearts, and that make people die a little bit inside every time they hear me talk.

O Abba Father, I acknowledge these things as sin, and I humbly repent for my sins!

These words that I have repeatedly spoken are sin because they go directly against Your commandments to love one another, to be gentle, to only bless and not curse, and to give grace to the hearer. Dearest God in Heaven, I have sinned GREATLY against You! And I am so sorry for it.

Please forgive me, Abba Father. Cover me with the blood of Jesus. Fill me with Your Holy Spirit where these things are, and change my heart. Make me like You, and help me!

Dear Abba Father, please help me to tame my tongue!

I have used my tongue as an instrument of death, but I want to change:

• Please change my heart and help me to start speaking words of life.
• Help me to speak words that build up, rather than tear down.
• Help me to speak gently at all times, never harshly.
• Help me to speak LIFE into other people, and into my relationships with those other people, rather than speaking words that kill, maim, and injure people in their heart, soul, and spirit.
• Help me to be protective with my words, instead of critical! Get rid of that disgusting critical spirit from me, Lord; get it out of me forever, and help me to see every person and situation around me with Your eyes!
• Help me to speak words that affirm the good work You are doing in other people, rather than critical words.
• Please convict me about this hard, and tie me to the altar if You have to! O Lord God, please do not let me go; waken my conscience and hold my nose to the grindstone until You have worked this work in me, that my tongue would be tamed!

O God, have mercy on me and tame my tongue–and discipline me however You need to until the work is done!

I don’t want my tongue to be an unruly evil, full of deadly poison, anymore. I don’t want my tongue and words to be a well out of which proceeds both blessing and cursing. Your Word says that these things ought not to be so, but rather that my tongue should speak as the oracles of God.

Help me, Jesus. Thank You for forgiving my sin, but please also change me–and keep this issue in the center of my mind, heart, soul, and spirit until You have done this great work in me of taming my tongue. Help me to cooperate with You at all times, Lord. Keep me on a short leash; if I sin against You in this area or any other, then please convict me of it immediately and bring me to my knees in repentance.

Please help me to make right all the wrongs I have done with my tongue, also, Lord.

I know that I have hurt a great many people, and that I have been a terrible witness for You in this area. I have treated people as a dumping ground for my ego, and for my need to be center of attention, and to control and assert myself over others.

Please forgive me for this also, Father; I repent of it. And I pray that You would help me to make these things right with every person I have hurt. Please open the doors of conversation so that I can talk with each person I have hurt and truly repent to them. And please heal them, and all my relationships, from the damage I have done. Thank You, Abba Father.

Thank You for Your help, Lord. I need Your help to tame my tongue, but I thank You that You are near to all who call on You in truth–and that You will help me. I give You the praise for it, and I thank You for hearing and answering my prayer.

In the mighty and matchless name of Jesus Christ I pray, amen and amen.”

Beloved, did you just pray this prayer to tame the tongue? And did you truly repent for your sins in this area as you prayed?

I hope you did. And please know that God forgave you if you truly repented, as we read in the book of 1 John:

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9 NKJV).

God loves you, my friend. He will help you, and there is no excuse for speaking words that bring death ever. Beg the Lord every day to tie you to the altar on this issue if you have to; to waken your conscience and sear both your conscience and your heart with His Holy Spirit if you ever err in speaking words that you ought not to speak–words that do not bring grace to the hearer.

I am proud of you for caring about following God in this area of taming your tongue.

Jesus will help you carry it out, for it is Him Who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure:

“Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure” (Philippians 2:12-13).

And God can help you tame your tongue!

Does this word and prayer minister to your heart today? Is Holy Spirit convicting you right now? If so, leave a comment below!