The screaming reverberated in my ears as I tried to comfort my son.
No, it wasn't my screaming, even though I do sometimes holler along with him if he won't stop (just for fun). (Hey, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em, right?)
But no, this time, I wasn't the one making noise. It was my baby, and he was screaming at the top of his lungs. He refused to be comforted.
His scream tore at my heart.
It went on and on, and the way he looked at me and screamed made me so sad … because his scream sounded for all the world like he was saying:
“Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Where are you, Mommy? Why aren't you here? Why aren't you feeding me? Why aren't you taking care of me? Where are you, Mommy? I need you, and you've left me all alone! Mommy! Mommy! Mommyyyyyyyyyy! Help me! Why aren't you helping me, Mommy?”
Of course, he's only a month old. He doesn't have any words yet. He may not have been thinking these things at all. But, that is sure what he sounded like.
And you know where he was during this screaming episode?
In my arms.
Both of my hands holding him tightly, safer than safe.
Laying against me, tummy to tummy, skin to skin …
… with his face against my chest as I tried to get him to nurse.
But he didn't want to nurse.
He was hungry, all right. But he didn't want to be quiet and receive. He wanted to scream, even when his face was right up against me. “Why aren't you taking care of me, Mommy? I need you!”
And yet there I was the whole time, taking perfect care of him. I was trying so hard to comfort him, insistently trying to get him to latch on and drink his milk. Everything he needed was literally right in front of his nose, and I was 110% determined to make sure he had everything he needed.
I squeezed him tighter and drew him as close to me as it was possible to get.
But I couldn't force him.
He laid close against me, screaming. His mouth was wide open and would not close, and he can't drink with an open mouth!
The only way I could have forced him to nurse would be to have actually pushed his jaw closed … and I would never do that. It would hurt him.
So I waited. Waited for him to stop screaming. Continued to hold his head and body as close to myself as I could. Continued to talk to him, croon to him, and try to comfort him, until …
… eventually …
… he stopped screaming, latched, and began to feed.
And then I realized that you and I are exactly like that with our Heavenly Daddy, our Abba, our Papa, our Father God.
We go through hard times … situations and circumstances that are harder than hard. We get lonely, depressed, and discouraged. When we do, we begin to cry:
“Daddy! Daddy! Daddyyyyyy! Where are you? Why aren't you here? Daddy, why aren't you feeding me? Why aren't you taking care of me? Where are you, Daddy? I need you, and you've left me all alone! Daddy! Daddy! Daddyyyyyyyyyy! Help me! Why aren't you helping me, Daddy?”
I have done this so many times.
So many times I've felt abandoned, discouraged, and lower than low.
So many times I've wondered why God didn't do what I wanted Him to do. I thought the only way He could “come through for me” would be to solve my problem the way I wanted, when I wanted, now. I've wondered why, and when, and why not yet, and why did He let this happen? Where is He?
And I've wondered, why wasn't He taking care of me?
But every time–every individual, single, solitary time I have felt like this–I have come out on the other side of the problem seeing:
- that He was right there with me the whole time.
- That He never left me nor forsook me.
- That I never had a single need that He didn't supply.
He has taken care of me every time. There has never been a moment when He didn't feed me all the food I needed. He had everything I needed, and He made sure I got it.
But while we go through trials, do we act like a baby acts?
Do we scream and holler? Do we ignore the peace God is offering us, while we lay at His breast and scream?
“Why, God, why? When, God, when? How, God, how? Daddy, why aren't You taking care of me??????”
And yet He is there the whole time. He has us in His arms, lying down on His bosom. He is drawing us close to Him; so close that we can feel and hear His heartbeat. So close that we feel His every breath as we are held in His arms.
And still we scream.
But our loving Papa, our Daddy God, our Father will not force us.
He will not try to make us receive from Him. He is certainly strong enough to make us sit down and hush up; strong enough to force-feed us. But He would never do that. It would hurt us.
Instead, He waits for us to quiet in His arms. He's right there, arms wrapped around us. He's holding us closer than close. He has us in His hands, safer than safe. Nothing bad is going to happen to us as long as He's there … and He'll always be there.
But still we scream.
What would happen if you and I simply stopped screaming and began trusting instead?
When my baby finally stops screaming, he can begin to eat. He then receives everything he needs. All he has to do is acknowledge that I AM there, and I AM taking care of him, and I'm ready to give him all he needs at a moment's notice.
What if we did the same thing? What if we started admitting that our Papa Daddy God IS here, and He IS with us, and He IS taking care of us–even if we can't feel His arms holding us?
What if we acknowledged that He is drawing us close, putting us right into position to receive from Him?
And what if we calmed and quieted our soul, stopped screaming, and simply began to trust?
What will happen if you and I just begin to trust that He's got us, and we look at Him, open our mouths wide, and peacefully, calmly, let Him feed us?
Answer: Everything would happen. Everything will happen. As soon as we stop screaming …
… stop complaining …
… stop doubting …
and begin to say, “Daddy, You're here! I know You're feeding me, and I'm ready to eat!”
There's a big difference between telling the Lord “I know You're helping me because Your Word says so. Thank you” … compared to “Why aren't You helping me? Where are You? Why did You leave me?”
And in hard times, we have to look at the truth of God's Word.
Papa God really is with you right now.
He really does have you wrapped up, safe and sound, in His arms. He really is holding you close. He really is listening to your cry, and He's trying to comfort you. Why? Because you can't eat until you stop screaming.
Beloved, your Papa's got you. You're safe in His arms.
Draw close to Him. Seek Him, for He will be found. He's right there with you. Just acknowledge Him! He IS helping you; thank Him for His help!
As you start to accept that whatever His Word says about how He is taking care of you is REALITY, is truth … then you will find yourself receiving all the milk you need.
Does this message speak to your heart today? Do you need to calm and quiet yourself in Papa's arms? If so, leave a comment below! I love hearing from you.