Full Confession: I’m Scared.

Full confession: I’m scared.

I’m scared to believe God for big, because the big thing I want didn’t come as easily this time as it came last time.

Oh, I’m not scared to believe Him for big in every area. It’s just one area.

One area that I’m struggling with.

One area that happened easily last time, but hasn’t happened yet this time.

One area that the devil is so scared of that he attacked me, just a few days ago, with the most vicious personal and ministry attack I have experienced in YEARS.

I guess this means I have to go to fasting. “Go to fasting” is the thing that rose up in my spirit when I sat down to write this.

This isn’t a normal blog post; I’m processing here. But, I’m sharing this because I believe many other people are enduring the same thing.

You believed God for breakthrough once, and you got it. But this time, when you need the Lord to do the same thing again, you’re not so sure.

Not so certain.

Looking for better ways, but finding none.

Looking for cheaper ways, and finding lots.

Tempted to go with the cheaper way, just because it’s cheap. Not sure if dealing with the drama again is worth it.

But then there is the heavenly impact of your “YES.”

Your “YES” made a lot of difference last time. Your “YES” changed everything for dozens–maybe hundreds or thousands–of people.

Or maybe your “YES” changed everything just for you.

But your “yes” made a difference, and you know it.

But is it wisdom to say yes again? Is it wisdom to pursue it? Or is it wiser to avoid the enemy attacks that are sure and certain to come with your saying “YES” to the Lord?

Which is wisdom?

When it comes right down to it, which is fear? Which is intimidation? Against what has the enemy unleashed his most vicious attacks?

It’s against the big thing, and you know it. 

It’s against the thing that changed everything for some of the people you love most in this world.

At least, it is for me.

In every other area, enemy attack means we’re over the target. It means we’re positioned exactly where we need to be, and we just need to hang in there and overcome the enemy.

We overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony, you know.

So I’m going to give my testimony here today:

Last year, in July to be precise, the people of God in our community banded together and together donated about $24,000 to provide free lodging to every person who attended the first annual Between Two Worlds retreat. Lives were forever changed at this retreat.

But costs have gone up and we need one more day for rest and mentoring, and next year’s retreat–lodging alone–is going to cost $30,000. We have about $1,600 of that. And remember that our ministry pays tithe, so in order to net $30,000, we actually have to receive about $33,000 USD gross.

This Friday–which is TOMORROW–my staff and I plan to drive up to Pigeon Forge and look at other hotel ballrooms and cheaper options.

Because the money hasn’t come easily this time, and I’m scared to go after it.

My flesh is scared, because I’ve endured such personal and vicious attacks lately over this issue that it has made my flesh want to quit the ministry.

Just being real.

I’m not going to quit the ministry, though, because I don’t serve God to please people.

I serve God to obey God, and whether obeying Him is always fun or not has nothing to do with it. 

But my flesh is still scared to pursue the $30,000 we need. 

But wouldn’t it be incredible if, tomorrow, we drove up to Pigeon Forge not to find cheaper, inferior options–but to deliver a check for $30,000 to the rental company for the best lodge in the entire southeast United States?

Maybe I need to wait on the Lord.

Maybe you need to wait on the Lord, too, in whatever area you’re scared to believe big.

Maybe the enemy attacks you’ve endured mean you’re over the target too.

Maybe we all need to go to fasting and praying and see what God does.

Tell me what you think below.

Love,
Jamie

Similar Posts

23 Comments

  1. Maybe I need to wait on the Lord., this is something. The enemy is certainly deceiving especially when he attempts to manipulate, the fasting and praying is a great response to rid the enemy plans to use scare tactics to apply anxiousness to try to make others believe God didn’t already win victory over they enemy. You keep fasting and praying and see whats ahead

    1. Prayer warriors PLEASE stand with Jamie like never before! Jamie I’ve been pressing in and standing in agreement with you everyday this week! Each email I’ve received has pushed me to press in like never before! I too am believing for BIG! I’m FINALLY holding the man accountable for raping me. He’s powerful and protected by the federal government. This has my entire body, mind and spirit scared and don’t want the battle. But God led me to push for justice. Additionally, I’m believing God to restore ALL the enemy stole from me! From unscrupulous insurance company causing us to loose our family home. While all our belongings were in storage, all of it became contaminated with mold and forced to be discarded. I’m still grieving. Then I became infected with mold from house not being repaired. I had extensive sinus surgery last month. Still healing. The temporary apartments we lived in had mold growth causing the only things we have left to be contaminated. All this happened within 2 years. Today my spirit is weary, but your prayers this week on “Double Recompense” and “Demanding Punitive Damages” is pulling me through the grief. I bless God for you and seek His favor pours out EXCEEDINGLY-ABUNDANTLY-ABOVE-BEYOND treasures our minds could never comprehend, on all of us. To not only meet our needs, but bless us with an overflow that we may globally bless the lives of countless others. I bless Your Name God and I bless You for Jamie. Your word says if we would cry out to you in our time of trouble, You would hear us, come down from Heaven and bless our land. Father today we are crying out to You to move in a mighty way, shield us from the arrows of the enemy, comfort us in our distress, soften our hard places and strengthen us in our weak places. I bless Your Name, thank You for working EVERYTHING out for Your glory and the hood of those that seek Your will, for the sake of Jesus bless us indeed, amen. Thank You Father.

  2. Thank you for your transparency Jamie! I’m literally going through almost identical situation regarding my women’s conference this year. I’m in a place of prayer, fasting and listening. I stand in agreement with you that Abba Father will supply all that is needed for your ministry. In moments like these God is using life situations to develop our trust and faith muscles. My prayers are with you. I’m looking forward to hearing about your Breakthrough testimony.

    1. The attacks are a lot at the moment because the devil knows we are positioned to do great work. He tries to shut me down at the moment. My health is attacked and I am fighting to be healthy , I confess I shall live not die and so is what He calls us to do. We have resurrection power. I keep praying standing on the wall.

  3. This is powerful Jamie because I am being tested also I use your God given words each day to build my faith so thankyou so much, I wish I was in a strong financial position to help with this particular thing you are facing right now, but I strongly believe God will provide for you

    thank you for sharing

  4. Karen Secrest says:

    I have some big issues of my own as well as for relationships with family .Yesterday He led me to low prices on quality products. I still am concerned for families every time I go to the grocery and see what is happening.
    I have questioned the Lord about finances for your ministry and myself.
    However, I still get the same answer: TRUST ME

  5. God doesn’t do things the same way twice. Moses was to strike the rock for water the first time. He was to speak to the rock the second time.

  6. Good Morning Jamie,
    My heart aches for you and not just today, but every time. I know that ministry is not easy and I have always prayed that God will give your family and ministry a financial breakthrough that will set the floodgates of monies flowing towards you to move your family and ministry to the next level for His Kingdom. Ask God for not only the $30,000 but for what your heart really desires, because I am asking Him and have always asked Him to bless you personally and ministerially with 5 million dollars or more in each area. I recently watched a celebrity confess in an interview how she prayed to God for a husband with a specific situation and He did it, down to every detail. I am encouraged because He is no respecter of persons and if He has done it in the past, He certainly can do it again, He may want our approach to be different, remember Moses striking the rock instead of speaking to the rock. I know I am putting my big asks out there and know that whatever you are asking God for, we are here to agree with you.

  7. Hi Jamie. Thanks for sharing and inviting me to trust God once again. Yes, I am so scared. I admit. And yes I also believe God is calling me to come into His secret place which means He is ready to take me to the next. I however don’t feel ready.

    So yes I want to obey God and not allow my own insecurities to make me buckle.
    Thanks again
    Juanita

  8. Jamie, I wish I could just soothe the wounds today from where you have been cut and pierced. I wishI could wrap you in love and hid you away tucked underneath the wings of the father to just rest and heal. Bless you, bless you when one of the father’s own children harms another it’s so hard. You are the head, not the tail. You aren’t the least favorite child, or the punching bag. You are beautiful and glorious in God’s eye. Soak up God’s love and let it heal the cracks like a rain in the desert.
    The “big” thing isn’t big for God.
    But you…. You are a big thing. You are a big deal. Your well-being is what is paramount.

  9. Sonya R Gray says:

    I agree,I’ll pray with you.

  10. Penelope ware says:

    You have helped so many Jaime on a daily basis and only for His Glory!!! You are an encourager and inspiration!!!
    Please hanginthere!!!
    So many of us are in the Trust Jesus Position.
    I’m praying we don’t lose our house!!!
    Praying with you and for you😇

  11. Katina Bryant says:

    Hi Jaime,
    You know that we are all in different places on this spiritual journey. Your big may be different from my big. If i can be transparent for a moment I’m not afraid but I m tired. You see I pray for change in the areas of relationships, rejection, my health and the feeling of being where I don’t belong spiritually. These are the continual ways the enemy attacks me. To the point it feels like I can never get ahead but keep revisiting the same old scenes. This keeps me from being focused on money and finances. I’m usually content with what God blesses me with and more focused on day to day survival. However, I am inspired when I see you and others in the body of Christ believing God for more or bigger. I know that it takes money for ministry but God will bless your obedience if it is in a cardboard box. That’s just my belief! I believe that fasting and praying about the situation is a great idea. And letting God lead you as to what’s more important. I believe this for myself as well. Give thanks to Jesus Christ in all things, no matter how great or small it appears in your eyes. He will bless your faithfulness and obedience to his kingdom as he already has but even greater things you can’t imagine in this life and the one to come! Be blessed and lets continue to pray for one another.

  12. My God! I got a word earlier today on intimidation and if I’m honest I am. I’ve been standing for my marriage in July 2021 the Lord did miraculous works in my husband and he began serving almost instantly, well he got discouraged and eventually went back to the world, I’ve been praying this time around for him to return to the church and salvage my marriage or simply filling for divorce and just succumb to the attacks. What a timely word! I believe as a church WE NEED TO FAST !

  13. Melissa Callstrom says:

    I’ll make this short. Since I was at this retreat, I know how valuable it is. In a blog you did not too long ago, you said in this blog that Holy Spirit had spoken to you to do the 2nd annual retreat in Pigeon Forge at the same place again.
    At the retreat you had mentioned about maybe having it somewhere else.
    Why would you go to Pigeon Forge today to look at other venues, when you heard from the HS to use the same venue?
    DO NOT give up! Stop to take some deep breaths in and out and while you are doing that, remember what HS already told you. Ask him what you and your team need to do to get there.
    Remember all of God’s promises are YES and AMEN! His ways are not our ways, his thoughts are not our thoughts.
    And remember this:
    H ungry
    A ngry
    L onely
    T ired
    Think of H.A.L.T if we are any of these, the enemy will attack even greater because of any of these. Our defenses are down when we are any of these.
    If God spoke to you and told you its going to be the same venue, then believe and trust in that fact.
    I understand the process your going through, I have some situations happening right now that only God can do and while I am trying to keep the faith,because God is stretching my faith more than ever right now, I know I cant give up and I know that God is the ONLY one that can do what I need. My situation looks bad in the natural, but in the spiritual realm its already done!
    Saying SCARED and speaking that is like saying your fearful. Speak life into the situation and say: God help me, I need you to fill me with everything that is you Lord. With everything that he is, he has given us everything we need! Show your roar and that you mean business Jamie!
    I love you!

  14. Exactly, what I am facing today! I’ve been praying & I believe I also need to fast & “Be Still & Know God is God!” Wow

  15. Jamie,
    I believe. The evil one is always taking our joy and causing upheavals. I stand in prayer with you about your finances and your Ministry. I also am going through financial issues at the moment, and I am scared to ask for more. I seem to be wanting to be comfortable with what I presently have. But, I believe in The Abundant Life that God promised! So I stand in faith. The God of our salvation will make all ways and paths straight, I believe this. You will get the funds you need and more. In Jesus’ Mighty name! Amen!!

  16. IRMA NORTJE says:

    Amen, Trust and Obey, for theres no other way, to be happy in Jesus. Jamie we pray and know that God will provide abundantly, protect and preserve, you and your precious family and Ministry. God bless and keep you in His tender care for your selfless love for mankind to save the last souls. Jer 29v11-13, We love you Jamie thank you for your faith and faithfullness.

  17. linda harrison says:

    🙏 pray one for another, love each other, left one another up in prayer 🙏

  18. I agree in fasting with prayer. The spiritual warefare we been facing has been rough on me and my family. Whenever youre ready sister Jamie, we’re ready too.
    Sending hugs and hope and love to you!

  19. JOSEPH KAITA says:

    I agree with you, Jammie. I also stand with you as I also trust God for a financial overhaul. We just secured a family house, which I have been believing in God for some time now. The challenge is that we have to raise a down-payment in the next three weeks, around the same amount you are looking for ($30,000). I know that our God is so faithful and true to His word and character of doing incredible things. I believe that the way-maker, will still make a way.

    Blessings and love.

  20. April McCullough says:

    This blog could not have come at a better time. Thank you for your transparency and honesty about this. I have never felt this afraid in my entire adult life. I had no idea what was causing it, but I saw an open door and didn’t know why I wasn’t going towards it? I’m usually moving full force towards the things that I desire but for some reason can not understand what any of this means. It actually made me scared! I know that I have been meditating on Psalm 75:6 for some time now and the last time I prayed for God to enlarge my territory—He did just that, and I have never felt more fulfilled. So here I am again. Praying, seeking, and asking. I don’t know what I waiting on now but I do know it’s something, and I need courage and strength to walk towards it.

  21. Needed this encouragement! See we faster snd prayed for years to sell our house, 12 years later we got the ok, be built a big house in a subdivision, and the devil hated it snd the attacks have been vicious against us here God is faithful snd has moved most of the trouble makers but there are a few still here snd I will continue to trust God and pray ! And contend, Fight snd love and be at peace as long as it is possible with us!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.