Have you ever felt like you're just surviving? Just barely making it through?
I've felt that way many times. And, I have wondered: When I'm just surviving, is God still paying attention to me? If I don't feel much excitement, and I'm tired, discouraged, or depressed, does God get angry at me for feeling that way?
After all, I have had my share of those times. I'm much more stable now than I used to be, but I still have moments where I just want to throw in the towel. On everything.
Do you ever feel like that?
And if so, do you feel like God must shake His head, roll His eyes, and look elsewhere until you pull yourself together again?
That's the treatment I used to feel like I deserved from God. And every time I have struggled with discouragement or depression, I have known that those feelings weren't God's plan for me. But there have been times when I haven't had the courage to fight anymore.
Related: Read about one time I lost my will to live here.
It was during one of those dark hours that the Lord spoke this Scripture to me:
Who among you fears the Lord? Who obeys the voice of His Servant? Who walks in darkness and has no light? Let him trust in the name of the Lord and rely upon his God” (Isaiah 50:10).
This is a beautiful verse. Let's look at what God is saying to you if you're just surviving:
- First, God is acknowledging that you do revere Him (fear Him in a good way).
- Secondly, He's acknowledging that you do obey His voice.
- Then, He says He has noticed that you're walking in darkness and have no light.
“Walking in darkness and having no light” could mean any number of things to you:
- You may not know where you are in life, what your life means right now, or what direction to take.
- Maybe you're tired and discouraged.
- Maybe you feel hopeless.
- Maybe you don't see any light at the end of the tunnel.
If any of these things apply to you, God is speaking to you. He has more to say, though.
After reassuring you that He knows you fear Him, that He knows you obey His voice, and that you are going through a time where you are in darkness and have no light, God gives you the solution:
Let him trust in the name of the Lord and rely upon his God.”
God knows where you are when you're just surviving. But His Word to you is this:
“Trust Me. Trust in My Name. I Am Jehovah Rohi, your Shepherd. I Am Jehovah Jireh, your Provider. I Am. And just because I Am–because I still exist and have not changed, I will come through for you. Rely upon Me. I will never fail you or let you down.“
Hebrews 13:5 in the Amplified Version says: “…for He [God] Himself has said, I will not in any way fail you nor give you up nor leave you without support. [I will] not, [I will] not, [I will] not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake nor let [you] down (relax My hold on you)! [Assuredly not!]”
God still cares about you when you're just surviving. He loves you just as much right now as He does when you are fired up, strong and enthusiastic.
Your loving Papa knows you may feel weak and dark sometimes, but He wants you to know that it will be ok. He's got you covered. He will take care of you. Even if you feel hopeless, sad, or uncertain right now, God will be faithful to you.
My hero, Charles Spurgeon, said in his sermon “When a Preacher is Downcast”:
Fits of depression come over the most of us. … The strong are not always vigorous, the wise not always ready, the brave not always courageous, and the joyous not always happy.“
I love that; don't you?
Should we be happy? Yes; and God will continue to grow you in happiness and joy as you walk with Him. But if you're not happy right now–if you're just surviving, walking in darkness and having no light–God still cares about you. He knows your name. He knows where you are. He is mindful that you are but dust (Psalm 103:14), and He hasn't cast you aside.
He wants you to know that He's going to come through for you, because God cares about you when you're just surviving.
Do you feel like you're just surviving right now? If so, would you take a moment to tell the Father about how you feel, and ask for His help to trust and rely on Him? He will help you.
Image courtesy of Alexander Ekman on Flickr via Creative Commons license.