Letters to Singles: Get Ready, Part 2
Dear single friend who desires to be married,
Yesterday, we talked about the first steps in the process of believing God for a husband or wife. I assigned you homework, too. Did you do the homework? I hope so, because today you’re going to need it.
In the third part of yesterday’s homework, I asked you to make a list. Today, we’re going to continue the process of getting ready …
Because it’s time to get ready for your spouse!
Remember, you received your divinely-appointed husband or wife when you prayed. So now, it’s time to get ready to see your answer manifest in your life!
The next step I want you to take, and the first part of today’s homework, is this:
1. Closely examine your list of character traits and personality traits that you desire in a spouse.
Then ask yourself:
What does this person like?
For example, if you wrote down that you want a spouse who is faithful to you (and I hope you did!), then if you look at that person’s traits, you can know for sure that they will also desire a spouse who’s faithful, who dresses modestly, who doesn’t flirt too much, sleep around, or use people.
If you wrote down that you desire a spouse who has a good job and makes good money (and I hope you did!), you can also assume that they will probably “click” or get along best with a person who is steady, works hard, and is optimizing their income as best they can.
If you desire a spouse who is organized and proactive, then you can rightly assume they will probably value someone who budgets, sets goals, cleans the house, and plans ahead.
You get the picture. 🙂 (Hang on now; you’re going to be okay!) <3
2. So then the question to ask yourself becomes, “Am I a person that my dream spouse would be attracted to?”
This is the second part of today’s homework, and this is very important!
When I began believing God for a husband, I made a list of over 80 qualities and characteristics that I wanted in my spouse! And then I spent years preparing for marriage to that person, even though I had no idea what his name would be or what he would look like.
I just knew God wanted me to be a certain kind of person, and I knew God and I both wanted him to be a certain kind of person; so I worked hard to be that person that God wanted me to be, knowing that it would also make me a better wife.
There is always grace and mercy. You don’t have to be perfect; the other person isn’t going to be perfect either.
Even on your best days, both you and your future spouse will still wake up with stinky breath; your clothes will get dirty; you will occasionally do things you wish you hadn’t done.
However, it’s still vitally important to prepare your character now.
Remember who you are in Christ. Don’t get into condemnation because of your past. But work on the person you are now, making every effort to become the person the Lord Jesus Christ has called you and created you to be.
This is important to understand:
- If you want a spouse that’s faithful, but you’re sleeping around, that faithful potential spouse is not going to be attracted to you when they meet you.
- If you want a spouse who is good with money, but you never saw a budget a day in your life, that is going to be extremely un-attractive to said potential spouse!
- If you want someone who’s good-looking and fit, but you never brush your teeth, cut your hair, shave your beard, or dress nicely, you won’t catch the eye of that good-looking, fit person when you meet them!
Beloved, you’ve got to realize that character matters.
And character is the first thing that can and will make or break both a dating relationship and a marriage. So before you even try to meet your potential spouse, you’ve got to work on your character:
- Become the man or woman of God’s Word that Father desires you to be!
- Become a person of prayer and fasting!
- Become a person of praise and worship!
- Get all negativity out of your life! Nobody likes to hang out with a Debbie Downer or Donald Downer! Get a positive attitude; read every book by Norman Vincent Peale on the planet if you need help with this! Become positive and happy!
- Become a person who trusts God! Marriage is hard enough just because two people are involved. If one of them is always looking at the circumstances or trusting feelings instead of trusting God, that will make things even more challenging. Become a person who decides to believe God’s Word, no matter what!
- Ladies, do you want to marry a man who knows he is the prophet, priest, and king of your home–and acts like it? A man who is faithful to God? That man will be in church every week, so you had better become faithful to attend church too!
You see what I mean. 🙂
If you want to get married to the person the Lord has for you, you have to become marriage material for that type of person.
I know you may already think you are, and you may be! Hurrah if you are! However, I urge you to take a careful look at your own life and character and see right now what you need to work on to become more like God wants you to be. 🙂
3. The third piece of homework I have for you today is this:
Take a look at your physical appearance.
A serious look.
I don’t want you to get all down on yourself when you look in the mirror. But I do want you to ask yourself this:
Are you doing the best you can with what you have?
- Maybe you have some extra curves. So what? But are you doing the best you can with what you have, wearing clothes with patterns and elongating lines that make you look as pretty or handsome as possible?
- Are you wearing stylish outfits? You can look “in style” for not a lot of money. And if in doubt, go classic; classic never gets old. But don’t look dowdy or dumpy! Do you need some new clothes?
- Does your hair have a lot of gray in it? Do you need a haircut and color?
- Men, take a look at that handsome mug. Very few women like to see a beard on their man. If you want to up your odds of making a great first impression, shave your face. If you keep a beard, you’re lowering your chances of making a good first impression with all the women in the world who hate beards. If you must have a beard, grow it after you’re married. 🙂
- Women, are you dressing modestly?
I’ll confess one of my pet peeves here: I hate it when people show a selfie on social media, and I can’t figure out if it’s a picture of the woman or of their cleavage.
Let’s be honest here: Ladies, you want a man who wants you for your character–not because your goods are on sale. Men are born to hunt. Make it easy for them to pursue you by giving them something to pursue, something they have to hunt for, something they have to chase, something that takes some work.
You can absolutely look your best while keeping your secrets still a mystery. Give a man something to aim for on that wedding night that he doesn’t get to see every day! #HadToSayIt #Truth
So homework #3 today is this: Go get one outfit that absolutely makes you shine:
- One outfit that’s in style.
- One outfit that has flattering colors and lines.
- One outfit that shows you as the amazing workmanship of God that you are.
Make sure this outfit doesn’t make you look strange. Make sure it’s not “in-your-face”; this outfit is not your time to prove a point about what an “individual” you are or how rebellious you can be.
Make this outfit something that makes you look amazing in anyone‘s estimation. Something classicly beautiful or handsome or tailored or chic. Something amazing.
It doesn’t have to be expensive. But, it does have to fit you well:
- Not too tight;
- Not too loose;
- Not too revealing;
- Not too baggy;
- Not a billboard for somebody’s brand.
Just beautiful. Or handsome … the way God made you to be.
That’s your homework. Three parts:
- Figure out what your future spouse likes, based on what you know about them from your list.
- Figure out what you and God need to work on together in your own life.
- Get one outfit that makes you absolutely shine.
Challenge accepted? Leave a comment below if so! Then, check back this week for the next in our series of Letters to Singles! I am praying for you today!
It completely speaks to me and can’t say enough how grateful I am for this. I know this is God’s doing and there is no coincidence. Thank Jamie for this!
God bless you and your ministry!
Thank you !!
Thank you for your letters of encouragement. Few people are encouraging when I tell them that I want to marry. I get a lot of negative feedback or why do you want to get married? Seek God and ask him if marriage is what he has for you but, I have’nt met him yet and got no answer from God so I don”t know if that is no or wait? So your letters give me hope that the desire that I have God put there. One guy at my church said his coming so I need to get ready and you just gave some ways of doing that thank you. thank you for the hope that I needed. I do desire to get married I jut turned 61 on the 17th of this month and all I want is someone who loves me and appreciate me and i be the only one he has eyes and a heart for.
Thank you so much Jamie! It seems like I keep attracting the wrong men and now I am ready to attract the right one. I would like to feel loved, cared about, and special. I’m tired of feeling used. I have standards and it’s time I stand on them. I am so grateful for what God has in stored.
This is amazing, l’m positive God will bring my God ordained husband my way in the coarse of the lesson.
Thank you so much Jammie , that was very helpful 🤝🙏🏼As I’m trusting God for a wife …. please keep me in your prayers and may God bless you 🙏🏼🙏🏼🤝🤝
Challenge accepted! This is so on time for me. Time to start working on this homework!
Day 2 challenge accepted!! I love the encouragement and I have totally read all of Norman Vincent peales books!! Changed my life 3 years ago while recovering for a horrible breakup! I believe and received my Future spouse. Thank you so much! I love how you said to check our character because it’s not mentioned often. We normally head to focus on the list but randomly hear to become the wife first!
This is on point and I’m working on the assignment. Challenge accepted
I accept the challenge!
Thank you 🙏
I receive a godly loving husband of my needs and desires!
I do accept the challenge!
THE ONE!…Come find me, am a good thing.
I accept the challenge and I know I am in the right direction for my marriage. I recently threw away a bunch of my old clothes and got some new outfits that are more feminine, colorful and flattering on me. I’ve been praying to Father to show me how he truly sees me in his eyes. I definitely believe my marriage is here and everything Jamie is doing through her singles letter is confirmation to my prayers. Thank you God and Jamie 🙏🏾🙌🏾😭🤗💍.
I accept this challenge as a man looking to be married someday, thanks for this!
Thanks Jamie for this calling, ok will do the assignment I am being led to follow the the instructions by the Holy spirit,I am in prayer for God to divinely connect me with the spouse He has appointed for me.May God bless you abundantly
I missed or lost part 1, Could you resend it please? Thanks so much.
Hi sister Jamie. Any chance on a part 3 or finale on the letters for singles? 😀
“Then, check back this week for the next in our series of Letters to Singles!”
Love you and God bless you.
Happy Valentine’s day for you and your husband.
Thank you Jamie for this particular article for singles. Most people don’t know what they’re doing when getting involved with someone. Some are mature, had peers/siblings who were older, who they could learn from, or get counsel from adults etc., and then there are those like me who didn’t have any of that. Been alone for about everything in life, maybe even when I put on immortality too. I learned to trust in God only through the years. So, I’m glad I’m single. With the level of warfare I go through on a daily basis having a relationship or spouse might prove fatal. I see how people around me change with every demonic fusion that takes place. Well….they’re not really in tune with the Holy Spirit or submitted to God anyway. Even with Christians, when they are “controlled” by the stalkers who surveil, they are not pleasant to want to be around.
I’ve only had interactions with those who sold themselves over to being satan’s guard dogs and entertainers. They are the puppet masters who entertain satan’s camp of lost boys/girls who feed on human suffering. I’ve been pursued by such, who don’t want to have a relationship of value, but want to use me to practice their satanic freemason craft on, to see who’s more powerful, they or the Christ in me. It’s not necessarily a spouse relationship, but even with ministers, people who hold positions of leadership that they didn’t earn or work for, but rather came through the transferral of someone else’s anointing or persona that got them the position and they were able to hold it for many years through the occult, freemasonry or witchcraft mind control over the masses.
So, going back to the spouse issue. I am happy being alone with Jesus, the Father and the Holy Spirit. I long to have relationships with the prophets of old, the saints who went before us and with the angelic host who obey God. They are the true family one could ever want. Not to forget to mention the furry family, those who have whiskers and tails, and feathers and fins. They don’t exploit, deceive, change like the weather etc. The family of creatures never betray or place spells/curses on people, they never try to control or rob us of dignity, privacy or right to life.
I think of some strong women in the Lord who, after getting involved and married, ended up in abusive situations, & losing their anointing…all for the sake of a marriage. I guess what I’m trying to say is that if we will neither marry nor be given away in marriage, then why bother with it all. The stakes are high for the Kingdom of God. We can waste time, energy & resources with all sorts of feelings, emotions, flattering eyelashes, smiles, heart beats, arguments, etc, etc. or we can submit to God and enlist in His army to fight for a cause, or choose to live a life of ease and comfort to please the flesh, while others fight battles for the bloodlines, towns, cities, regions, nations, and for creation, the souls who have passed, those who are, and those to come.
Nothing wrong with marriage, BUT a spouse of rank equal to that of the Son of God who can find????
There is none righteous, no not one. I guess I just haven’t been around decent people who are serious about the things of God, who aren’t led astray by voices and feelings.
I’d rather spend my time with those furry, finny, feathery family members who sincerely care, and love and who are dependent on people for their needs to be taken care of.
Happy Day of remembering St. Valentine and Jesus who shed His blood for us. Greater love hath no man than this that a man lay down His life for His friends.
Thank you very much Jamie dear.
Thank you Jamie. I receive the husband from God’s heart.
Thank you. Challenge accepted.
It did speak to me.
thank you so much for giving us singles your time to direct us and teach us through Christ. I’m divorced and my friends always ask me why I want to marry again. I don’t believe in divorce however, here I am. however I do believe that God who instituted marriage has a better plan for marriage for me. I’m expectant that God shall do exceedingly above all that I imagine.
thank you again.