How To Heal from Mother Wounds
Do you need healing from mother wounds? Do you also struggle to receive from God what YOU KNOW He has promised you–comfort, nurture, protection, fruitfulness?
Also, do you believe in God’s promises–but you still find yourself feeling abandoned and having to fend for yourself?
If so, the Lord has been showing me out of His Word that these things are related. This is GREAT NEWS, because it means you can BOTH heal from mother wounds PLUS open the floodgates of receiving from God at the same time.
Here’s how the Lord started talking to me about this:
I’ve been doing a word study of God as our El Shaddai.
I’ll explain below exactly what El Shaddai means and why it’s so important. Suffice it to say that, if we don’t know God as our El Shaddai, we are not going to be able to receive a lot from Him.
Anytime you need to encounter God in a certain way, you have to know Him in that capacity first.
For example:
- If you need healing, you have to know God is your Healer.
- If you need salvation from your sins, you must first hear that Jesus is your Savior.
- If you need financial provision, you have to know God is your Provider.
In the same way, there are a whole lot of things in life that require us to know God as El Shaddai if we want to receive.
What does El Shaddai mean?
El Shaddai is the name of God that God used to reveal Himself to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob. It is derived from the Hebrew word “shad,” which means “breast.” “El Shaddai” literally means “The Many-Breasted One.”
Yes, you heard that right. God Himself reveals Himself to us as The Many-Breasted One. Is it because He has a lot of breasts? No; God the Father is a Spirit and does not have a physical body.
Is it because He is female? NO, of course not; God is completely above the human concept of gender. GOD is wholly other. Both male and female were made in the image of God. BOTH male-ness and female-ness were derived from who God is.
So why does God call Himself the Many-Breasted One?
To show us who He is. To demonstrate His attributes. To teach us and help us get to know Him.
Basically, when God revealed Himself to Abraham as El Shaddai, He used the image we have of a baby nursing at its mother’s breasts to demonstrate how we are to receive from God.
When He told us His name El Shaddai, He let us know that:
- Everything we need, we are to get from Him.
- He is the Giver and Sustainer of Life.
- He is our Nourisher.
- He is our Caregiver.
- He is our Help.
- He is our Nurturer.
- He is our Provider.
Everything we need in life, we are to obtain by nursing at the “breast” of God.
This is really not a far-fetched mental picture at all, if you stop to realize that:
- God is our original and perfect Parent;
- that we are His children if we believe in Christ Jesus as our Savior; and
- that we can do nothing and receive nothing unless He gives it to us.
That’s why Acts 17:28 says:
for in Him we live and move and have our being, as also some of your own poets have said, ‘For we are also His offspring’” (Acts 17:28).
And why John 15:5 says:
If you imagine the image of the vine and the branches, you can see right away that the branches are nursing from the vine–literally!
Those branches have latched onto the vine. They grew from the vine; literally, the vine budded those branches! And those branches are latched onto that vine. ALL of their life-giving sap (“milk”) comes directly out of that vine.
No vine, no milk/sap. No milk, no life.
Whoa.
This picture of us nursing at God’s breast is one the enemy has tried to steal from God’s people.
Remember that there’s an unholy substitute for every holy thing. And sometimes the unholy thing gets so loud that we don’t realize there’s a holy original!
So what’s the unholy substitute? Think of all the pictures you have probably seen of false gods–idols, demon gods that people worship–that have lots of breasts. Think of all the stories you have heard about this or that Greek, Egyptian, etc “goddess of fertility” or “god of fertility.”
ALL of those are the enemy’s perverted twistings. The enemy is trying to steal God’s worship.
The enemy is trying to get the worship that should be directed at God. And GOD HIMSELF reveals Himself to us as The Many-Breasted One, so the enemy took that concept and tries to present himself in that capacity, so he can steal God’s worship.
Ugh.
And you can see how much the enemy HATES this truth when you look at how hard he has worked to pervert it through various portrayals of the demon idols mentioned above.
But the enemy can’t steal God’s truth. And the truth is that God is our El Shaddai.
Our Father wants us to “nurse” at His “breast” and RECEIVE everything from Him that we need–including our comfort, provision, strength, food, breath, and everything else. So let’s grab onto our revelation of Abba Father God as The Many-Breasted One, shall we?
The revelation of God as our El Shaddai is HUGE. It’s a really big deal. It’s a GIANT issue.
So what are some symptoms of mother wounds?
Here are 5 common symptoms I’ve seen:
1. Inability to receive comfort.
If you have a mother wound of some sort, even if you don’t realize it, you may believe God for comfort … but still not feel comforted. Even if He comforts you sometimes–and you know it–you still do not feel comforted most of the time. You feel like His comfort is far off; like He comes through for other people, but not for you.
2. Constant feeling of lack.
If you have a mother wound, it’s possible that you feel like you’re always in want. Like a baby whose mother refuses to nurse or even bottle feed, you feel starved … whether physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually.
3. You may struggle to be merciful to others.
If you have a mother wound, you may struggle to be merciful to others. Why? Because the person in your life who was supposed to be merciful to you–your mother–wasn’t.
4. Feeling like you’re unprotected, exposed, and at the mercy of the world.
If you have been hurt by your mother, you probably feel unprotected. Picture yourself as a toddler who’s scared, and you’d like to hide behind your mother’s leg … but there’s no mother there. That’s very possibly how you feel. You know God is your Protector, but you feel like you struggle to actually see His protection manifest in your life.
5. People don’t tend to nurture you.
When you have a wound of any kind, you will always tend to receive the same type of wound from other people until the original wound is healed. If you didn’t have proper nurturing from your mother, you probably long for nurturing, even as an adult–but you don’t get it.
Rest assured: There is hope! As soon as you heal, you will see the manifestation of the GOOD thing–the opposite from your wounded state–in your life. People WILL start to nurture you after you’re able to receive it! They may not even do it consciously, and they may not have realized that they didn’t nurture you before. You will just attract nurturing. 🙂 Yay Jesus!
So how do you heal from mother wounds?
Here’s the first thing you have to know if you want to heal from mother wounds: Problems with our relationships on earth impact our ability to know God in all of His attributes. Such problems also hinder our ability to receive from God in all of His functions.
For example:
- When we have something against our human fathers, it results in a breach with our Heavenly Father.
- When we have something against our siblings, friends, or peers, it generally results in a breach, hindrance, or blockage between us and Jesus. (Remember that Jesus is our Brother, the Firstborn of many brethren.)
- When we hold something against our mothers, it results in a hindrance, breach, or blockage between us and Holy Spirit.
Why? Because Holy Spirit is our Comforter, Guide, and Nurturer. He performs in our lives (on His God-scale) many of the same functions (plus others) that our human mothers do on their human scale.
To see the correlation, think of the fact that Holy Spirit is our Comforter. Comforting you is Holy Spirit’s special job. And whose human function is it to comfort a child? Generally, the mother is the comforter.
There are lots of other things Holy Spirit does for us:
1. He helps us.
John 15:26 says, “But when the Helper comes, whom I shall send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth who proceeds from the Father, He will testify of Me.”
2. He feeds us. He takes what belongs to Jesus and transmits it to us.
John 16:14-15 tells us this when Jesus said: “He will glorify Me, for He will take of what is Mine and declare it to you. All things that the Father has are Mine. Therefore I said that He will take of Mine and declare it to you.”
3. He teaches us. He guides us into all truth.
John 16:13 says: “However, when He, the Spirit of truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth; for He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears He will speak; and He will tell you things to come.”
4. He shields, protects, and defends us.
Isaiah 59:19 tells us that “… when the enemy comes in like a flood, the Spirit of the Lord will lift up a standard against him.”
And all of these things are things that our human mothers are also supposed to do!
This doesn’t mean Holy Spirit is a woman. Again, God is ABOVE gender.
But this DOES mean that, the same way we need to receive certain things on a human level from our mothers, we are designed to receive those same things from God.
And when we have something against our mothers, it hinders our ability to receive these things from God–The Many-Breasted One.
Do you see the correlation? It’s wild, I know. But I’ve seen it be true so many dozens if not hundreds of times, and I’ve NEVER seen this principle be wrong.
Ever.
It simply works every time.
When we hold a grudge, anger, resentment, unforgiveness, negative expectations, etc against our mothers–even if we don’t mean to, or are unaware of the problem!–those things prevent us from receiving from God.
So how do you heal from mother wounds?
To heal from mother wounds, use the same four-part process we talked about in how to heal from abandonment and rejection, as well as in Finding Deep Soul Healing 101 and 102:
- Pray out loud to forgive your mother for all the specific things she did AND didn’t do (I recommend using the written prayer I provided in Finding Deep Soul Healing 101);
- Ask God to fill you with His Holy Spirit where those wounds were, and to heal your heart;
- Fill up with revelation about how GOD will perform all the duties of a mother for you (so your fulfillment doesn’t depend on your human mother; see Scripture references below); and
- Verbally confess to God–yes, OUT LOUD!–that you receive Him as both your Father and your mother, and that you choose right now to receive all the parenting and nurturing you need from God the Father, Jesus His Son, and Holy Spirit.
I recommend you study these Scripture passages to help you get personal revelation of God as El Shaddai:
(And in these passages, every time you see “God Almighty” or “the Almighty,” that’s actually El Shaddai in the Hebrew.)
- Genesis 17:1-8
- Genesis 28:1-5
- Genesis 35:1-15
- Genesis 43:1-14
- Genesis 48
- Genesis 49:22-26
Interesting that so many important passages about God as The Many-Breasted One–our Nurturer, Sustainer, and Comforter–are right at the very beginning of the human story, isn’t it? 🙂
As you read these passages, look for three things in particular:
- Notice what God was trying to get across when He told people His name, El Shaddai. For example, in Genesis 17, why did Abraham need to know right in that conversation that God is The Many-Breasted One? (Meditating on this will blow you away.)
- Notice how people got to know Him as El Shaddai. For example, on his deathbed, Jacob referred to God asnEl Shaddai. How near and dear to his heart this name for God must have been!
- Most importantly, notice the different things God did to manifest Himself as El Shaddai. (You’ll be a blubbering basket of tears if you do this. But God wants to manifest Himself in the same ways for you.)
And as you start to get this revelation about who God wants to be to you, let it become real.
- Imagine yourself snuggled up to God’s chest.
- Imagine all the nourishment, care, provision, protection, teaching, and hugs you need flowing from God to you.
- Allow yourself to see God mothering you in every way you need Him to right now.
- Imagine El Shaddai flowing through you to nurture others, knowing that He will do the work, since He is The Many-Breasted One!
- Finally, remember all the times He has mothered you in the past, even if you didn’t realize it was Him at the time.
Beloved, you can heal from mother wounds. Our Lord God, El Shaddai, will heal you in every way you’ve ever been hurt.
He will nurture you. He will comfort you. He will sustain you as you “nurse” at His “breast.” He will become both a Father and a mother to you, and you will be free.
Will you walk through the steps? Will you forgive your mother for every way she has hurt you? Will you receive God’s truth and let Him take the place of your earthly mother?
If you will, your life will be transformed, and God will use you as a vehicle of healing to the people around you too.
Does this word about El Shaddai and healing from mother wounds speak to your heart? If so, please share your thoughts in the comments below! I love to hear from you!
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Thank you Jamie! I thank God that He gave my siblings and I the time to make things right with our Mother. She in turn did the same for us! My wounds were healed and so were my siblings. Please pray for me that God will heal me from the from the way my parents passed away. I have moments when I think about them and it is not easy. I thank you in advance again for your prayers!
What a powerful revelation! For me this is a direct answer from Daddy God to what I have been seeking from Him recently.
Thank you for listening to Him and sharing.
Linda C
Linda, I’m so glad this helped. I apologize for taking so long to respond–I’m just now starting to get back on my feet after being sick. But this topic is really strongly on my heart for many and I prayed for you today.
Love, Jamie
Thank you Jamie. I really needed this to read today. Now I can visualize me at My Abba breast being loved into wholeness. May God give you all the blessing you so deserve. God Bless
Yes, yes, yes. He WILL love you back to wholeness as He nurses you at His “breast.” He will give you the sustenance and comfort you need. I pray He’d minister to you in a special way today as your El Shaddai.
I want to thank you for yor response some heard me. I am so excited because I am on a new journey with my Almighty. I did not realize that I keep God out with all the garbage in my heart from my past. Thank God that it made it from knowledge in my head to my heart. I like pratical ways to change. Have a great day. Susn
The Apostle John understood this concept too. I know it is a strange concept to some believers as is the intimacy, but this is beyond physical and human relationships,, it is perfect love. It not new age, but coming of age, no longer needing milk but the meat of the Word and the Holy Spirit is the teacher.
This is so timely, thank you. Revisiting this issue with the Lord for a deeper work. Know I am called to be a mother in the church and yet it is the one area I feel so weak in. Letting Holy Spirit go deeper and so it will be His work not mine. Thank you for the scriptures to meditate on.
Jane, if you ask Him to give you His heart for people, I’ve found He’ll help you love them more deeply and easier–and unconditionally. Being a spiritual mother is definitely hard, but it’s so fulfilling. I pray He’d pour more of His heart into you than ever before so you and He can co-labor together in this effort, and that you’ll impact many lives.
This is so very good and true. Thank you
I actually dreamt the previous evening that my dad and I were looking for my mum as she did not return home! (she and my dad died 12 and 14 years ago! being in their 80’s) Today I stumbled across this article! God is surely saying something to me here! I sometimes feel these symptoms you describe here, even being in my 50’s and serving the Lord! Many blessings!
Praise God for your faithfulness! Prior to stumbling across your blog, the Lord would give me pieces of what was going on in my heart, but I never could fully understand it. Your blog put soooo many things into perspective. I was able to cry out at the feet of Jesus. Please pray and believe with me that this root of rejection, neglect, abandonment, and self rejection has been dismantled in Jesus name, and that I’m walking TOTALLY FREE!
Dear sister, this is a wonderful testimony. I am going to share it with our community! I praise God for helping you. He ALWAYS wants to heal and restore! He loves you so much and I know He will keep leading you. I prayed for you also.
Love and big hugs,
Jamie
Yes this most certainly touches my heart. I never could figure out why there always seemed something blocking me and Holy Spirit. I have mother wounds.
I also had father wounds and both parents abandoned me (somehow I knew God did not abandon me)
Thanks and tons of love for sharing this information!
God Bless!
I have always felt like there was something wrong with me. Now through you I’ve discovered it’s from Mother wounds. Thank you so much for this teaching about El Shaddai. I’ve never heard of that before. You are such a rich blessing to the body of Christ. May you know NO lack in 2018 and may your precious baby boy be completely healed in Jesus name! Amen!
Hallelujah I am healed. Thank you so much
Dear Jamie early last year God said to me,” Ask Me to let you know Me as El SHADDAI,” I asked not knowing why but chose to go into my bible to see why, where and to whom He first appeared to as El SHADDAI. That same week He said,” Ask Me to bridge the gap between your mother and you. Ask Me to let every wrong done to your mother be paid for by Jesus. Ask Me to let every wrong done to you be paid for by Jesus” I did two months later my mum fell terminally ill and had to take time off to go and look after her. I had heard ,” I want you to go and look after your mother,” I quietly began to pack my bags , apply for leave and went home by His grace to look after her. I got home at midnight. The next day she looked at me and wept, ” It is you the one I least stood by who came to look after me.” In the presence of all she said looking into my eye’s deeply, ” Deola I am sorry, do you understand,” Jamie I lost her two months later. Thank you for speaking to me today. I am grateful. El SHADDAI let my healing begin as You have purposed. Amen.
Hi Jamie
Love all your posts ?
The article today said if you have issues with a sibling you have issue with Jesus. Is there a post more about this and or a prayer? Thank you
Thank you Father for Jamie!! May God keep you and bless you Indeed Jamie!
Thank you Jamie. This definitely resonated with me. My mom and I never had a good relationship and now we don’t talk at all. I will study these passages this morning and trust in El Shaddai to right these wrong and heal these wounds but for now I’ll rest in knowing I can and will receive everything I need from both my parents from God the Father, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit and I can receive the comfort and provision I need to help me to be the parent He’s called me to be to my children. Thank you
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday today and forever indeed! I was able to access this message on the 01/12/19! And yet how timely it has been for wounds I carry from my parents, particularly my mother who passed away 10/06/18. It has been a very long bitter and humiliating relationship. First to think of it that she actually consulted her fathers gods in order to have a male child (me) and even though I have come to the saving knowledge of Christ,I have held this rage and anger for her decision. And things got at its head when things turned out difficult for me in life,my education,my life is in a mess,I never saw her for 10 years till she was buried! And few days before her passing I managed to get her to the hospital and got her a bed and organized a call conference with two sisters and even though I tried patching up and was desperate for her to hold on to the Lord Jesus Christ our conversation was not the very best in the end. I went to the funeral and took consolations from her pastor and some church members, but still held a mixed bag of feelings, regrets, shame, wishes unfulfilled to her, until this evening when I got to read this message! Oh Lord how excellent is your name El Shaddai. Prophetess God bless you and keep you safe! I pray that while I’m praying through this message the Lord in His Faithfulness would move swiftly on your life. Thank you.
John,Ghana.
First, I’m so glad someone like Jamie is willing to acknowledge this topic, which seems to repulse most people. My mother was abusive sexually as well as emotionally.
Can anyone say where to find “ four-part process we talked about in how to heal from abandonment and rejection”?
Also, if anyone would like to talk about developmental trauma vs ongoing adult issues (unsafe behavior, even after forgiveness, etc, cause we all know no one has to take responsibility in order to obtain forgiveness), I’d be interested to hear.
Thanks!
I am happy you put this out due to I recently got healed from some past hurts that I did not know I still had and one God showed me was my mom. Two nights later I had a dream where the enemy was trying to attack me and the enemy bit my breast but it felt good. I talked to a good friend about this dream and she brought to my attention what my breast ment and then you wrote this blog. Ever since my healing , I have been getting favor and feel so free. Going back to the people that helped me with this healing to get some deliverance and healing from a few more things God was showing me that did not get to at the first visit.
THANK_YOU,JAMIE! This means so much !
I really thank God for this message. It has really hit me on the forehead. I grew up lonely even when my mother was there. I would feel like am just alone as if there were no people around me. I have suffered painful abuse and rejection of every kind. I wouldn’t go out in the community to play with others and come back without other kids having come against me to beat me without cause. It was always like a dog from the other side of a village attacked by same street dogs. Recently this year I saw a dream where I was waking up from a place where a dog slept in the past and I was surprised because at a point two years back I would hear a voice almost every day saying you are a child of a dog. I rebuked the voice and it stopped. After I got saved I would receive dog smell attacks for years until it stopped on it’s own. I thank God because this would bring healing to me and my children because out of knowhere I have not given my children enough care. I regret it everytime I remember. They have suffered pain. A lot happened to me but am aware now that its mothers wounds and I also have eounded her. She died with pain. I attended a secret cult and I was made to sacrifice her unconsciously. I was told she was bewitching me and I will only have peace if she can die
I believed it because of the pain she made me to go through. I thank God as Alshaddai in my life.
Thank you Jamie, both my parents have passed, I have had bad experiences with both of them. I was abused by Father, and by my Mother, which my mother made it clear that I was a problem. I battled with the rejection, and being isolated, but still tried to get close to my mother.
I came to a decision to ignore the rejection though it hurt, it pained.
I thank God, before my mother’s passing, I felt I was able to make the peace with her.
I thank you for your message, and will be utilising these scriptures.
Thank you again Jamie.
Thank you for emailing this yet again, it is such a good word, and I’m sure many people who need it but weren’t on your list yet when you published it before will find healing in it!
Just a quick note on Isaiah 59:19 [“… when the enemy comes in like a flood, the Spirit of the Lord will lift up a standard against him.”] Did you know that there was never any punctuation in original Bible writings, and those have been added in more modern times; so every once in a while, it’s not quite right. Years ago a precious lady who called into a prayer line I was working had just called to share the revelation God had given her about this verse -and, I have since heard it at least 2 other times from different preachers making the same “correction”. And that is, “…when the enemy comes in,,,,,, like a flood the Spirit of the Lord will lift up a standard against him”! Do you see the difference? It is not the enemy coming at us like a flood, but it is the Spirit who floods the enemy with His standard when that enemy tries to come in at us! Because our triune God is greater than any enemy or problem we have, not the other way around!! So I just wanted to share that with you all. Even though it FEELS like we are drowning in a flood from our enemy sometimes, as usual, the opposite of what the devil tells us is always true-that enemy Satan is the one who will be flooded and washed away out of our lives by rising tide of the Holy Spirit!! Give Him a praise!👏
Thanks, Ana! Reminded me of His providing a table “against” and not just in the presence of our enemies. Sooooo much about the Bible has been distorted, whether by translation and language or just legalistic vipers, so it’s exciting to see the “real” stuff in its broadest meaning. Truly exciting. All the difference in the world!
Also, I’d like to bring up what I feel is an important distinction, especially for those of us who are quick to forgive and place a lot of condemnation on our selves – forgiveness is often spoken of with an assumption that events are only in the past vs ongoing. That’s often not the case. Forgiveness does not mean the other person is safe, or that anger at loss and harm is wrong or uncalled for, and it certainly doesn’t mean that you automatically open up the trust and boundary floodgates. Please, anyone who struggles with this, do not conflate safety with forgiveness. If the other person takes responsibility and is actually changed, they may become more safe or even really safe…… but that is a separate topic not to be conflated with forgiveness. That is their work, not ours. Forgiveness is not conditional nor predicated on change from the other person. When we forgive, we need to guard our hearts all the more, being wise!! My mother actually condemns me by saying the reason we don’t have a closer relationship is because I just need to forgive. No. No, I forgave her years and years ago and would have had no contact with her had I not. But she had taken no responsibility and had not changed her relational patterns. Until she does that, it IS impossible for us to have a close relationship (which to her means I go along with her controlling machinations and anything else she thinks “goes” – I should listen and coddle her even when she can’t hear a word I say, etc, and etc……. She is forgiven. But there was never a close relationship to be restored. She will need to acquire some new awareness, willingness, and skills to get anywhere near even starting an actual healthy relationship. This is especially tough as I do not have the luxury of making the boundaries with her that I’d like, due to my long-term disability. So. Things can get quite complicated. I’d love to hear how others guard their hearts after forgiveness and navigate those murky waters when the “predator” hasn’t changed their abusive ways, but you have not or are not able to cut them out of your life even if a situation warranted that or similar boundary. Thanks!
Dear Jamie, I want to thank you so much for Emailing this. I read and prayed about it yesterday. And today I made peace with my mother. I asked her forgiveness for closing up to her and I prayed for the two of us for forgiveness toward my grandmother.
After this, I felt like I was newborn. I feel so good. For the first time in 40 years, I was able to listen to her without hurting. And she gave me a little present, a tomato, which I wouldnt have been able to receive from her just yesterday.
So thank you again, Jamie.
And all the glory be to our Lord Jesus
It’s year 2022 ,I’m 48yrs of age and still I went through a lot of things with my Mother…not healed and this message popped up now.I was in tears as I read this through.All you wrote was a picture of my life till now.I needed LOVE AND COMFORT..most of the people came into my life hurt me so much.I thought they will Care BUT all I received was hurt and more pain.Your message really touched me and I knew I have The Sweet Holy Spirit who cares about my life.
Thank you Jamie♥️ This is very helpful and healing. God BLESS you for sharing the words of the Lord and the way of healing. In Jesus name!
The timing of this is perfect, I’ve been having difficulty connecting with my teenage daughter. Every conversation ended in an argument, I realized I didn’t feel close to her as I do with my boys. My mother lost her mother as a teenager and she raised my sister’s and I without maternal help. I related to all five signs of mother wounds and realized my daughter probably felt similar towards me. Thank you God that you love us so much that you want to restore generationally all the maternal love you have for us.
My friend forwarded the email with this article to me. It was definitely for me! I have been asking God for healing of my heart, my mind, and my soul. I had been suffering for many years from wounds inflicted by abusive mother until this article. This really helped me to start the healing process through forgiveness and prayers. Thank you, Jamie, so much for this! I can’t believe how simple and effective it was for me! I read your article, followed all instructions, opened my heart to the Holy Spirit, and it really worked! I feel different! I am not hurting anymore from those wounds. This message is an answer to my prayers! God bless you Jamie!