Pornography Impacts Women Too

Pornography Impacts Women Too! Read this post for one woman's story of #deliverance and #healing.Yesterday, my friend Sam told you his story about how God set him free from pornography. Today, I’m going to tell you my story.

Some people may think that pornography is a men’s problem only. However, that’s just not true. Pornography impacts women too. It’s a tool that the enemy uses to ensnare anyone he can. It’s not just about wives who have to deal with the aftermath of their husband’s addiction, either. Pornography can ensnare women themselves.

When I was about in 4th grade, I started reading romance novels for entertainment. You know, the paperbacks with the half-naked, long-haired male model on the cover, draped all over some woman. Yeah, those. They’re called romance novels, and romance novels are pornography for women.

Men may get into the pictures, and some women may too. That wasn’t my experience. My experience was that women get into the stories. The stories can be just as addictive to women as pictures can be to men. And unfortunately, the stories are every bit as destructive to women as the pictures are to men.

I was very young when I started reading those books, and I quickly became addicted to them. I read them, pretty much continually, until I got saved at about age 21.

My parents taught me right from wrong. I knew what I was doing was wrong. Even though I wasn’t saved, the Holy Spirit always convicted me of my sin. Most of the time, though, I didn’t listen to His voice. I did put the books down and resolve not to read them anymore a few times, but after a month or two–or even a year–I would pick them back up again.

When I got saved, at age 21, I stopped reading pornography for good. But these books had warped my mind. They put not just unholy stories and images in my mind, but also unholy thoughts about myself and others. My mind still needed to be cleansed.

So how did God heal me?

Psalm 119:9 tells us:

Start-quoteHow can a young man cleanse his way? By taking heed according to Your word.”

When I got saved, I began to dig into the Word of God, the Bible. It wasn’t for the specific purpose of washing my mind from pornography, frankly; I was too immature to know my mind needed washing. But as I began to study, the Lord began to cleanse my heart and my mind.

God’s Word healed me. Since I got saved in 2001, God has completely set me free. I’ve had to be very careful, though, all that time, as deliverance is sometimes progressive. I actually was not able to read any kind of fiction until 2013. I tried to read godly, Christian fiction a couple of times before then, but found I could not do so and maintain a clean thought life. It was only at the beginning of 2013 that I was able to pick up a good, Christian novel and read it while still maintaining holy thoughts. (It was neat, too, because the book I read this year was so awesome and inspired that I wept under the power of the Holy Spirit at the end. I felt like that was His great, big hug, affirming that He had healed me. Praise God!)

I thank God that He has delivered me from pornography and has healed my mind. But my heart goes out to those women out there who are still hooked on the enemy’s snare.

Pornography for women is everywhere. It’s in movies. It’s in bookstores. Walk in any big-box book retailer and you’ll see that easily half of the bookstore is full of pornographic novels. A book may have a half-naked model on the cover, or it may have “50 Shades of Grey.” It’s the same thing, regardless; it’s pornography. And Christian women are reading this stuff. It’s bad enough for any women to read it. But Christians? And yet they are.

But I have a message of hope for you today. If you are a woman who is hooked on pornography, there is hope for you.

Jesus Christ loves you anyway. He looks beyond your sin and sees His ability to forgive, because of Jesus’ death on the cross.

God hasn’t forgotten the wonderful plan He has for your life. His plan doesn’t include you being a slave to lust. It doesn’t include you being treated like an object. It doesn’t include you giving your mind, body, or spirit away to sin, or to one man after the other, after the other, after the other.

God’s plan for you is for you to be treated like a delicate flower. Cherished. Loved. Revered. Prized. Treasured.

His plan is for Jesus Christ to be the Lover of your soul, to love you and care for you like no man ever could.

God’s plan for you is for you to know true love; to love and be loved. First in a loving relationship with Him, and secondly in a godly marriage (if sexual intimacy is your desire).

Precious sister, Jesus Christ can set you free from pornography. He can set you free from seeing yourself as an object of lust, and He can make you clean and pure again.

What do you need to do?

  • Confess your sin to God. Decide that you will pursue purity and holiness in Jesus.
  • If you have not already done so, ask Jesus Christ into your heart to be the Lord of your life.
  • Ask Jesus for His help. Be open and frank with Him. He knows all about it anyway, and He can hear you. Just talk with Him about it. If you’re lonely, tell Him so. If you’re weak, tell Him so. He will help you.
  • Get rid of your triggers. Cleanse your house. Get rid of everything that takes your mind down the wrong road. Certain types of books, movies, and music can all have a terrible impact on your mind. Don’t let your friends talk you out of it, either. Just because they think they can watch that movie or read that book with no negative impact doesn’t mean you can.
  • Get rid of friendships that are unholy. I know you may love your friends, but if you have friends that incite you to lust–male or female–you need to get away from them. I had to.
  • Be accountable. Find some Christian girlfriends who will love you. Tell them about your situation, and keep them updated.
  • And above all, WASH YOUR MIND IN THE WORD OF GOD, THE BIBLE. God will use His Word to will heal you. (If you need help getting started with Bible study, my MP3 teaching will help you.)

Precious one, your Papa God loves you. His heart hurts for you when He sees you being less than you were created to be.

You were made for greater things. You were made to be a princess, the King’s daughter, a mighty warrior for Him. Don’t you want that? If you do, would you seek Him today? Would you renounce any sin in your life–especially pornography–and let Him purify your heart, mind, soul, and body?

If you need help in this area, you can find a godly, compassionate counselor through Focus On the Family by clicking here. Also, although I am not a counselor of any type, if you have questions for me about how you can find freedom in Christ, please leave a comment below.

Related: When You Fall, God Is Mindful That You Are But Dust

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5 Comments

  1. Lydia @ Not Afraid of the Snow says:

    Good thoughts. I guess I never thought a whole lot about romance novels. My mom never let me touch them. Guess I should be glad for that right?! I am amazed by how many people are all into the “50 shades of gray.” Sad.

  2. Now, I’m not exactly a girl or woman, but I was able to pull out the parts of it that apply to everyone. Thanks to you, and God through you, I understand more about this, and I may be able to help my future spouse. Again, thanks. The Lord really is working miracles through you. May that always be the case.

  3. Well I’m struggling with pornography now and I want it to stop. I don’t want to keep thinking about porn or secuding men to like or love me with porn and sexual texts. I want to be delivered from this as a whole. I don’t want to be a sometimes a girl. I want to be filled with Gods love and be free from pornography

    1. Hi Lee. How are you doing with one-on-one time with God, particularly with studying God’s Word (the Bible) and hiding it in your heart? I ask because Psalm 119 says that if you hide God’s Word in your heart, you will not sin against Him.

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