Understanding How the Demonic Spirits of Abandonment and Rejection Work Together

How the demonic spirits of abandonment and rejection work together | FromHisPresence.comDo you want to heal from abandonment and rejection? If so, the first step is understanding the enemy’s tactics work, so you can back yourself out of them like freeing yourself from a spider’s web.

In this week’s blog series, I’m going to be teaching on how to heal from abandonment and rejection.

Before I get started, though, let me say: the enemy’s strategies are insidious.

They’re despicable. I hate them. And I THANK GOD for Jesus Christ, whose shed blood on Calvary made the way for you and I to be COMPLETELY free from ALL the enemy’s attacks, plans, schemes, devices, and thievery.

Jesus is so much stronger.

His blood bought complete freedom for you and for me. Not partial freedom, or no freedom. Complete freedom.

Do we have to appropriate it? Yes.

Do we have to believe for it? Yes; God moves in response to faith. But the truth is what Jesus said in John 10:10:

Start-quoteThe thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.”

Do we have to work for it?

No; but we do have to bring our lives into submission to God’s Word in every area in order to be free. Why? Because the truth makes us free. Obeying the truth makes us free. As John 8:32 says:

Start-quoteAnd you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”

Bringing our lives into submission to God’s Word in every area may feel like work. It may. But in reality, it’s not work.

Work is the process of making something happen on your own. Obeying is the process of bringing ourselves into total alignment with our God, who is a good Father and loves us so very much, so HE can make things happen for us.

Obeying is the process of bringing the creation–ourselves–into alignment and agreement with the Creator’s Manufacturer’s specs.

So is getting free going to take effort on your part, the effort to obey? Yes, absolutely–but it will be worth it.

I’ve had to walk through this myself.

I’ve dealt with a ton of abandonment and rejection in my life. A ton. I’ve been through a lot of inner healing to get free from it, and the Lord still periodically shows me people or situations that I need to work through in this area. We’re like onions–layer after layer.

But Jesus is the ultimate Shepherd, and Holy Spirit is the ultimate Teacher. He’s walked me through the steps to so much freedom, and I know He will do the same for you.

Related: Read all the posts in this series:

If you’re bound up in chains of rejection and imprisonment, you can be totally free when you obey God’s commands. And obeying starts with understanding.

The understanding is the key part that is a problem. I believe there is a tragic lack of teaching across the Body about this. It’s all the Word of God; but so many churches and people have abandoned God’s full and complete Word–taking out the parts about the power and grace of the Holy Spirit–and so we have lost our power to find freedom.

How to break soul ties with the blood of Jesus | by Jamie Rohrbaugh | FromHisPresence.com
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All because people simply don’t know or understand how to get free. They have never been taught.

God’s people perish for lack of knowledge.

And if you find yourself in that group who has simply never been taught this–who has never understood–then this is your day. 🙂

There’s no condemnation for you in Christ Jesus. There’s only grace. So my prayer for you as you read these articles this week is:

  • That you would fight through any warfare, hindrances, or blockages the enemy tries to throw at you to keep you bound;
  • That you would be willing to do the work and put in the effort to be free;
  • That you would believe on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, and believe in ALL His Word.

 Jesus will set you free as you believe and obey. And when Jesus sets you free, you will be free indeed.

Start-quoteTherefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed” (John 8:36).

Freedom is guaranteed if you will obey His instructions for how to free yourself from the wiles of the enemy.

Additional resources that have helped me tremendously along this journey:

The first step in finding freedom from abandonment and rejection is to understand how the enemy’s tricks to ensnare you work.

And for that, I made a flowchart. 🙂

How the demonic spirits of abandonment and rejection work together
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There are five steps in the enemy’s process to bind you in chains of abandonment and rejection. They are:

1. Someone abandons you, and it hurts.

This insidious process doesn’t start just from a random thought one day. No; the enemy is a horrible trickster, and he kicks at God’s people when they are at their weakest. He takes unholy advantage of a hurting, bleeding, wounded child of God and uses their pain to kill them.

So what happens is, somebody actually abandons you first. Examples of this could include:

  • Having your father abandon your family, whether he walked out or whether you simply never knew him.
  • A friend who walks away from you.
  • A spouse who leaves you, cheats on you, or is such a workaholic that you never see them, so you feel alone even though you’re married.

The examples of abandonment could continue to infinity. You get the picture. Suffice it to say: the enemy steps in to attack even more when you are hurting. Yuck.

2. As I taught about in Finding Deep Soul Healing 101, unhealed wounds open a door to the enemy.

It’s not because there’s anything wrong with hurting. Hurting is a natural response to having been wounded, betrayed, etc. I don’t believe we can stop ourselves from hurting.

The problem is simply because we take our eyes of Jesus to lick our wounds. When that happens–when our wound is not submitted to Jesus and healed quickly by the Holy Spirit–the enemy comes in and presents lies to us, trying to get us to believe them.

Let me pause here and anticipate a possible question you may be asking: What about the people who have never heard about Jesus? Are they subject to the same attacks?

Answer: Yes.

The enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy anyone he can, and that’s the only reason he comes. So people who are without Jesus are in a terrible state. Utterly defenseless, without faith in God or protection from Him (because they have not submitted to Him), they are completely vulnerable to the enemy’s attack.

That’s why Jesus stood up in the synagogue at the beginning of His ministry and quoted from Isaiah 61:1-3:

Start-quoteThe Spirit of the Lord God is upon Me, because the Lord has anointed Me to preach good tidings to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound;

to proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn, to console those who mourn in Zion, to give them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;

that they may be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.”

Jesus came to set the captives free.

That’s why Father sent Him: Father desires to rescue all people who have been enslaved by the enemy. Without Christ, all people are lost in sin. Jesus came to save them.

So yes, the attack of the enemy works the same way against people who don’t know Jesus–and they are simply defenseless.

As blood-bought children of God, you and I can appropriate the victory and freedom Jesus died to give us. People who have not given their lives to Jesus cannot, until they do give their lives to Jesus.

However, at the moment they give their lives to Jesus, they can become 100%, absolutely and totally free as well.

Related: If you’d like to read how to give your life to Jesus, read about my best Friend, Jesus Christ, here.

So. Unhealed wounds open a door to the enemy.

Why? Because they hurt so much that we focus on them, instead of keeping our eyes on Jesus. For example:

  • We dwell on them.
  • We give them power.
  • We sit and mull over them.
  • We get angry about them.
  • We think about them, talk about them, think about them, talk about them, and think about them and talk about them some more.

And when we take our eyes off Jesus, looking at our wounds instead, we become instantly vulnerable to the enemy’s attack.

Perhaps that’s why the Bible says:

Start-quoteIf then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth” (Colossians 3:1-2, emphasis mine).

and

“Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,

looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God” (Hebrews 12:1-2, emphasis mine).

and

“Therefore, holy brethren, partakers of the heavenly calling, consider the Apostle and High Priest of our confession, Christ Jesus, who was faithful to Him who appointed Him, as Moses also was faithful in all His house” (Hebrews 3:1-2, emphasis mine).

and then there’s that story about how Peter walked on water until he took his eyes off Jesus:

“And Peter answered Him and said, ‘Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water.’ So He said, ‘Come.’ And when Peter had come down out of the boat, he walked on the water to go to Jesus.

But when he saw that the wind was boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink he cried out, saying, ‘Lord, save me!’ And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him, and said to him, ‘O you of little faith, why did you doubt?'” (Matthew 14:28-31, emphasis mine).

Oh, how we must keep our eyes on Jesus!

 

I’m not speaking from an ivory tower here. I’ve failed at this so, so, sooooo many times. Oh, how I’ve failed. 🙁

But thank God: His mercies are new every day! He is mindful that we are but dust! And He is ever ready to pick us up, brush us off, put the ring on our finger, and place His best robe on our back …

… if only we will come back to Him.

So taking our eyes off Jesus opens a door for the enemy to attack us. And then …

3. A spirit of abandonment torments you as you grieve and nurse your hurt.

Yes; an actual, literal, demonic spirit comes in and starts whispering to you. And what does he whisper? Not truth; for Jesus told us:

Start-quoteYou are of your father the devil, and the desires of your father you want to do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own resources, for he is a liar and the father of it” (John 8:44).

Nothing from the devil ever, ever carries any truth. There is no truth in him. He is only a liar; so if he’s talking–or if his minions are talking–they are only lying. That’s their only option, for falsehood is the only thing in them.

That’s what Jesus told us, and so we can take that to the bank.

Therefore … what does the enemy do? He sends that spirit of abandonment and it whispers to you. It tells you that you’ll always be abandoned. It tells you that you deserve to be abandoned. It tells you that you’re abandoned because you’re rejected.

And as soon as you agree with that lie, then the spirit of rejection comes in.

Ugh! I hope you see how insidious this is! Can you see it? Does it make you mad? It should, for the enemy has been jerking you about with his puppet strings long enough! Let holy wrath and indignation rise up in you and DECIDE TODAY that you ARE going to be free, like Jesus died for you to be! In Jesus name!

4. The demonic spirit of rejection nests with the spirit of abandonment and also lies to you.

I’m getting madder and madder at the devil as I write this. IT’S TIME FOR THE ENSLAVEMENT OF GOD’S PEOPLE TO STOP!

Beloved, it’s time to be free!

Step 4 in the enemy’s horrible work of enslaving you is that, as soon as he’s worn you down enough so that you come into agreement with the lies the spirit of abandonment has told you (the spirit that he uses to pave the way for the spirit of rejection), the spirit of rejection comes right on in.

Oh beloved! Can’t you see? THIS is why we have to strengthen ourselves in the Lord!

This is why we have to know God’s Word and confess it out of our mouths! This is why we have to build ourselves up in our most holy faith–to render ourselves IMMUNE to the enemy’s lies!

This is why we must know God’s Word, eating it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner–because it renders us immune to the enemy!

As it says in Isaiah 8:20:

Start-quoteTo the law and to the testimony! If they do not speak according to this word, it is because there is no light in them.”

Beloved, KNOW GOD’S WORD! It will keep you safe!

So anyway, if we begin agreeing with the enemy’s lies, the evil spirit of rejection comes in. And it adds its foul whispers to the things the spirit of abandonment is already telling you.

For example, it tells you:

  • that you are rejected;
  • that you’re not good enough;
  • that no one wants you;
  • that you don’t fit in;
  • that you don’t have friends;
  • that you’re worthless;
  • that no one will ever want you;
  • that you will never be accepted;
  • that nothing you do can be good enough; and more.

Yuck.

Oh yeah, I’m preaching to the choir here. We’ve all been there. I know I have, and ten to nothing I’ll bet you have too. 🙁 But don’t worry; you can be free.

And step 5 is:

5. If you accept or agree with the enemy’s lies, you develop a stronghold of abandonment and rejection.

I’ll talk more later about what a stronghold is and how to destroy it. However, for now, just know this:

A stronghold is an evil paradigm.

It’s a house of wrong thinking that the enemy has tricked you into building for yourself through constant agreement with his lies. And it colors the way you see everything–the world, life, people, your family, your marriage, your brothers and sisters in Christ, etc.

And from there on, things tend to go downhill.

This is what the enemy wants. Remember that he only comes to steal, kill, and destroy. And what does the enemy hate the most? Jesus.

And what did Jesus come to do? To buy us back from the slave market of sin, so we could return to Father.

Jesus came to purchase a road with His own blood for us to be ACCEPTED again.

The enemy hates Jesus, and he wants to counteract what Jesus did. Not only that, he wants us to feel rejected because he hates us too. By getting us to agree with his lies of rejection, he robs us of the blessing and abundant life Jesus purchased for us.

It’s not that it changes our DNA. If you are in Christ, your DNA–your “who”–is accepted in the Beloved (Ephesians 1:1-6). But if the enemy can rob us of enjoying what Jesus purchased for us, he wants to.

And he uses the demonic spirits of abandonment and rejection to rob us of experiencing, enjoying, and walking in intimacy with the Father and with our brothers and sisters in Christ.

Are you ready to get free?

On Wednesday, I’ll write more about discerning this stronghold and how you can know if you’re being influenced by spirits of rejection or not. And later in the week, we’ll talk about how to tear down this stronghold and reverse yourself out of this web of destruction and deceit the enemy has cunningly crafted to ensnare you.

But for now, I have a homework assignment for you:

If this teaching about abandonment and rejection resonates with you, and you know already that these two evil forces are tormenting your life, the first step to getting free is this:

Make a list of every person who has ever abandoned you or rejected you.

Every person. Seriously. Don’t leave even one person off your list that you think of. Pray and ask Holy Spirit to show you all the people you need to write down–dead or alive.

You might have only one person on your list, or your list could be pages long. When I made my own list years ago, my list was pages long. We’ve all lived different lives and had different experiences.

But no matter how many people are on your list, make a list.

Then check back Wednesday for the next post in this series!

Is Holy Spirit speaking to you through this post today? If so, please leave a comment below, and also encourage your fellow Presence seekers in the comments!

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49 Comments

  1. Rebecca L Jones says:

    My father left when I was two. Though I had a Christian family, we did not understand all the truths we do now. Being abandoned by an earthly Father does not mean you are abandoned by Your heavenly one, ever. And even having a good step father or uncle or someone will not take His place.

    1. Very true, Rebecca. I’m sorry about your dad leaving. I pray that Father God would continue to comfort you and lift you up.

      1. Linda Moore says:

        Rebbeca I also went through abandonement at an early age 5 yrs old! My dad left in a different way i can see this day now. My dad was getting ready for work and my everyday routine will be walk him to the door to see him out this was not missed at anytime! my dad was my everything! So as we approuched the door my words to him “i love you daddy i will see you later are you ok” dad says ” yes im fine i will see you soon love you ! then on this day of sunshine 1974 i heard the phone ring so i will be the one to rush and get the phone because that tells me dads calling and i should answer. Thats how much he mean to me i love him dearly, unconditionally that was my love for my dad! but this one day was different , unsettled, questions came! i answered the phone and too my surprise i heard the words is this the Roland Moore’s residence and me being five i was pretty smart i said ” what ” they reapeated again the question an a finally said yes! and they says Roland Moore is deceased i said ” what” Roland Moore is deceased and when that went into my ear this was the begining of abandonment, and rejection! This is a little bit of my story! Linda Moore

      2. Amanda Eccles says:

        My name is Amanda. I thank you for this teaching it home with me as well. So many of God’s Beloved have been rejected and abandoned. I believe that is his way of molding us into the people he created us to be. For our destiny. My mother left at 3. Me and my sisters were removed from our father’s abusive home at 12. My family who took me and my sister in , decided to leave me in a psych ward and keep my sister. After I was in my first Psych ward a couple months. My oldest sister adopted my little sister and left me in the psych ward. I was in psych wards many, different foster homes, group homes, etc. Much of my teen years . From 12 to seventeen, at least. From a baby up til 12 went thru abuse, addiction, and neglect. After that the pain was instilled. But by the grace of God I am almost 40 years old the 24th of this month and God is freeing me. Amen. A long life of addiction, psych meds since I was 12 which I did not need, God is transforming me in so many ways. Amen. I am truly being made new in Christ. Now I need help to get through the healing process. My ABBa Father truly works miracles. Praise God. May God bless you and your family. Amen.

  2. Butterfly Tyler says:

    My Father was never in my life. He passed away in 2013 and I was 45. I had only seen him 5 times in my life the last being 1999. Some events led up to us having a reunion due to him being given 2 weeks to live diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer. Long story short, we ended up rekindling a lifetime of information and a relationship on his death bed. He lived 4 weeks instead of 2. I ended up being his. Power of Attorney and planning his funeral, burying him and handling all his military affairs. But up to that point I struggled with relationships with men because of abandonment and rejection daddy issues. Just recently a situation happened that really broke my heart. BUT God swooped in and healed me sooooo fast because he does not want me to delay my destiny and longer he’s invested to much in me over the last year to fall down now. God has gently explained to me why this relationship was rejected by his hand and after 4 weeks my heart felt free and joy has returned. However my mind continued to play memories over and over about the rejection. I’m not feelingbany hurt just mental chatter. God said stop watching that closed door I’ve shown you what’s behind the open door as you will get closer to it. Today I had ephinany as to how to fix my thinking, because I cant move forward by looking back. Thank you for this post which confirms somethings and Im confident how to move forward on my thinking..

    1. I’m sorry about that, Butterfly, but I’m glad that you are seeking Father about this and are pressing forward. Tomorrow’s blog post about how to heal, and how God redeems and restores and turns things around, will be an encouragement to you, I believe! Much love!

  3. Sandra Carreon says:

    Hi Jaime, yes the post resonates with me I have never been taught how to be free and I thank God for you for sharing on how to be free !!???? May God bless you and your family abundantly !

    1. Sandra, I’m excited for you! I’ll go through the specific steps tomorrow that will help walk you through the process! Thanks for your encouragement, and blessings to you too!

  4. Thank you for this timely message. My husband and I have one son. His wife has worked very hard over the last 15 years to divorce us from our son, grand children and also from her family. As of the last couple of days the anguish has taken a toll on my health. My husband and I have prayed, and prayed for a healing in our relationship with them. We have worked so hard to do all the right things to bring happiness in their lives. Our son was raised in church to honor God, and put Him first, but he was conned into believing she was a Christian. We saw the red flags and tried to worn him, but he was totally smitten. Now after all these years and her mind games and manipulative ways it appears that she has won. Now, after four years of heart problems for my husband I have high blood pressure due to a thyroid issue. The good news is God gave us a miracle on November 20th….a new heart for my husband. I’m asking for prayer for restoration in our family and for continued good health for my husband and a supernatural divine healing for my thyroid. I’m going to make a list of all the people that have hurt me but the ones I’ve listed hurt the deepest. And it’s so true that we re-hash all the details, go over each incident, suffer the pain over and over again. I’m trusting God’s promises…we know that with God all things are possible. Praise God in the name of Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior we need healings.

  5. Thanks for sharing your testimony!

    Lately, at least for me it’s how much love
    you need to have for those who you
    felt should be there, but are not.

    It’s about loving even when they do
    not make it too easy to do that.

    It’s better to take refuge in God
    than to trust man. Psalm 118:8

    God does not disappoint. He is
    truth and light and most of all Love.

    Well I am surely looking forward
    to your next post.

    A lot of wisdom in your writing!
    Thanks again!

    1. Thanks for reading, Lili! It is definitely a process to love those who reject or abandon us, but it is worth it. If we ask Father to help us see them with His eyes, He will. Loving those people becomes much easier then.

  6. Thank you so much for this teaching.. I have been struggling with rejection ever since my dad walked out of my life.. this has affected my relationships and I am tormented by it all the time. I have prayed. About this but there is still lots of healing to place.. I’m looking forward to finally being released of this tormenting spirit

    1. I’m so sorry, Lynne. But Father God will definitely free you from this. Please stay tuned; I’ll be writing about how to get free tomorrow! And be sure you have your homework from Monday–it will be key to your healing process! <3 Love and big hugs to you.

  7. I was abandoned by quite a few people…but the ones that bother me the most is my Mother and my Father.

    My Mother was in my life but she did horrible things to me as child. I never have a problem forgiving her I just didn’t want to have anything else to do with her Some people made me feel guilty for not wanting her in my life so I would reach out to here over and over again thru out my adult years (now I’m 42) each time I reached out to her after her she kept hurting me…I would get hurt again she would do things that a know a loving mother wouldn’t do to their kids.
    She has never been there for me when I have needed her.

    Because of her actions,my Fathers actions and other people actions I have felt like it’s not meant for me to have caring loving people in my life. I am tired of feeling this way and all I want to do is stop dwelling on what has happened in my life and move on…and be happy and my goodness ….be peaceful.

    1. Hi there, Charlene. Oh dear sister, it is most DEFINITELY Father’s will for you to have loving, caring, healthy relationships in your life. With people who love you enough to die for you, and with people whom you love enough to die for. Covenant friends. Truly. And it’s His will for your precious heart to be healed from all these hurts and wounds that have been inflicted on you. I encourage you to follow the steps I’ve laid out in this blog series that will bring healing to your heart. Make your list of people and pray through each person, one at a time, starting with your mother. Allow Holy Spirit to minister to you in the secret place alone with Him. Get the inner healing tools and helps from the 21 Kisses series if you can. And just press into our Father who loves you so very much, and receive His ministry. It IS His will for you to prosper and be in health, and for your soul to prosper! For you to be completely healthy, inside and out, and free.
      Much love and big (((hugs))) to you today, sister. Thank you for reading my blog.

  8. Janette Standard says:

    Thank you for this.

  9. Donna Clowers says:

    Dear Jaimie
    Only a couple of hours ago I prayed and ask God to heal my mind heart and soul from the traumas I’ve experienced in my lifetime that I obsess about in my mind 24/7. And the one I’m dealing with now! Then I found your blog a few minutes ago. I think you are His answer. Donna

    1. Wow, Donna, praise God. I’m so glad Father God led you here. I pray He would bless and encourage you daily in many, many ways, and that He would comfort you and apply His healing balm to your soul today. In Jesus’ name!
      Thank you so much for reading and for sharing!

  10. I have felt abandoned and rejected most of my life. I was blessed with a great family, but always felt like I wasn’t what they wanted or wasn’t good enough. For the most part I felt rejected from my family and the world. I don’t want to believe it any longer. It took until I hurt someone I care about to realize how much I let those feelings of rejection take over my life. I pray that all hurt be healed. Thank you for posting this. And thank You, Jesus for all you have done for me! Please pray I escape my narcissistic ways!

    1. Hi Rae. I think many people feel that way. People in general have often not learned how to love like God loves, so we find ourselves, on the other end of the relationship, working for love.

      It’s performance-based acceptance. We don’t always mean to do it, but we find ourselves working for love anyway because love is a basic human need. We were made to abide in Jesus’ love; it’s His original plan for us.

      But I do pray that Father would help you and give you grace as you walk through the steps, so you can be free from the hurt and your heart can be healed. Jesus loves you so very much, and He is longing to fill you with His love and the continual awareness of it. His love will set you free completely. Not the head-knowledge of it, but the gut-level realization and sensing and feeling and experiencing of it.

      Thank you for sharing your story today. And thank you for reading my blog! Have a wonderful day!

  11. Hello. I have Complex PTSD and Major Depression, primarily because of all abandonment and rejection (and abuse) I’ve endured. It’s overwhelming the amount of abandonment and betrayals I’ve been through and has seriously affected the quality of my life for almost 30 years. I believe what you’re saying, but can you answer a question for me? The truth is I don’t have any friends or a decent support system, not even fellow Christians? The church seems to have an issue with mental health problems (I’ve actually experienced this) AND many mental health professionals have a real problem with Christianity, and “friends” have their own lives and there’s this widespread popular idea out there of not being around people who might bring you down/look out for number 1. And the sad thing is, is that I don’t want to discuss my mental health issues—I just want to hang out and do things (go get coffee, go to the movies, enjoy talking about God, etc.) like everyone else, so THAT I don’t feel abandoned and rejected. It’s a reality, although I’m sure the demonic spirits do make it worse, tormenting me with nightmares and reminders. What do you think? It’s interesting: have felt hurt/abandoned by my therapist who did something not cool last 2 days, jumped on Pinterest, and this blog was the first thing that popped up, like God was helping me. I’m grateful.

    1. Hi KC. Thank you so much for reading my blog. I think things may shake down differently after you’ve gone through the steps I’ve recommended in this blog series about healing from these issues. A lot of the time, when we’ve been very hurt, we actually attract the thing that has hurt us. It’s not US doing the attracting; it’s the enemy. Like spirit calls to like spirit; similar spirits group together. So it’s entirely possible that, if you’ve been hurt badly by abandonment and rejection, that that is what has been attracted to you–which colors your vision even more, because it fills up your total experience! But if you will go through the steps to get free, I believe you will begin to see things changing in what you actually experience, both in the Church and in other places. Go for it, okay? God wants to heal you from abandonment, rejection, PTSD, and depression too. All of it has to go; Jesus came to set you free completely. And He will, if you will go through the steps He shows us to freedom in His Word! Ask Him for help, and the two of you together can do it!
      Much love in Christ to you today.

  12. Thank you for sharing this . I think i often put a wall up so that i dont get hurt. We speak not enough against whatever is coming from the enemy, and sometimes we have to figure out first what it is that holds us back. I will be set free from these spirits, in Jesus name.

    1. That’s true, Sandra. We’re called to bind whatever is already bound in Heaven, and we’re called to loose whatever God has already loosed in Heaven. According to your faith be it unto you!

  13. I that God for His love and mercy .
    -I went through abandonment in my early 20 and i never to talk about it and i developed a wall that hindered me from having health relationship with me and after i got to know christ i thought its was all gone but the tread of shutting people from my life has serviced now and again .
    As i have been fasting this month the lord pointed out this to me and am ready to talk about it and get it over with as i receive healing and restoration .
    i came across just today and i bless God for it and realy appreciate you for allowing God to use you .
    I believe am in the process of total restoration and heali ng of heart to receive love and give love .
    I believe am FREE in the name of Jesus no longer am i a slave to abandonment and rejection .
    Thanks and God bless you .

  14. hi there
    thanks for such a relevant and helpful blog – i really struggle with knowing HOW to apply healing and learn about this and other issues based on God’s Word and my identity in Him. I hear and know He loves me and that He wants me to love an abundant life etc but it’s accepting/receiving it I can’t seem to grasp. My mum and dad split up when i was 7 and shortly after my dad committed suicide – i have had social anxiety and other personality ‘flaws’ which have just consumed me my whole life. i am 50 later this year and i believe i have brought about my situation (i’m single for years, no kids, a handful of people around me including relatives) i have kept telling myself i would end up alone, also because i isolate myself because when i interact with others i end up beating myself up and getting angry at them and it is all just a vicious circle – right now i am going through another episode of clinical depression and my thoughts about myself and who i am and HOW i am are just keeping me down – i feel like i’m drowning in my thoughts but i’m also trying so hard to fight it. i’m looking for a church to go to as well – i have been a Christian about 7 years now. its all just a big mess and i dont know where to even start to unravel it and start to change things but I want to. so i thank you because I feel like reading your blog i have found someone who gets it and can help as a starting point God bless x

  15. loving jesus says:

    my 17 year old son is experiencing rejection & abandonment from school he has no friends he has been bullied talked about and no father in his life it’s been not so good & it breaks my heart what he has been thru he is really not trying to hear anything about God at all since he has been experiencing these things he hates everybody it seems like I take him to church but it seems nothing helps I’m tired of those students bullying him I have really ask the Lord to heal his heart I just really don’t know what to do but just pray I will continue to pray for my son he got accepted into college & he’s trying to fit in on the new freshman in comers on their website & someone blocked him so he’s trying to fit in but I’m really not trying to have that I can’t stand that old devil please pray for my son because there is a place for him at that college also the devil is a lie

  16. This is a great and timely post for me. I’m currently wrestling with an issue in which i have been given a mentor at work and I don’t like or trust her. My first interaction was a conflict in which I spoke up and challenged her comments and since then I seem to be resenting her. So….I’ve been praying for her removal from this relationship which I know is not a solution. Today’s devotional talked of letting go and letting God act in my life. But I came away from a session last week feeling small and ugly and ended up taking sick the next day and had a week off work sick, yes physically sick. I now feel nauseated at the thought of another meeting and I want to leave my job! Which I won’t do but Ive found this post to totally be for me! So, I will make a few changes in perspective and pray for insight into what action I need to take…..I’ve simplified but you get my drift. Thanks for your wonderful blog and I look forward to exploring your posts for more insights and love. Regards from your sister in Christ, Mandi from Australia.

  17. Jaime,
    Thank you for your blog! I thought I had dealt with abandonment until just recently I started reading a book call the Speed of Trust. A very good book on trust in the corporate world and personal life. I started to see a common theme where I had not been truthful in many situations and prompted me to dig deeper into the root cause on why I had been this way.
    The back story is I was abandoned by my father at two years old and my mother at 10 years old. It’s a very long and insidious story which I will spare you the details. I had many issues growing up with drugs, sex, and plain and simple immoral living. It wasn’t until I was on the verge of divorce that my wife and I sought out a church and just went! Over time we were both saved and I believe I am alive and still married because of it.
    I continued to have issues with fear of rejection and abandonment. I would do and say things just to get people to accept me and hope fully not reject me. I would cringe at the thought and compromised my own integrity and violated the trust of those who loved and cared for me. I continued to work on it but never seemed to fully deal with the core issue of abandonment and the far reaching effects on my life.
    I am now 54 years old, 44 years after my mom abandoned me and I and still seeking to completely deal with the issue of rejection and abandonment. I am consuming a lot of material but I am ready to take this head on with Jesus and the Holy Spirit as my guide. I have discovered most if not all of my character flaws stem from being abandoned and need to come to grips with it once and for all!
    This is where I am at today and looking to the Word and sound spiritual guidance to map this journey to its end.
    Interesting note that when I started this process God put it on my heart that there are a lot of Christians and Non-Christians that suffer from these demonic spirits and ultimately destroy their lives before they ever deal with the issue. Clearly this is not the life He wants for His Children wants me to share my experience to help others. I want to do this but only after I have completely vetted through these issues and have been restored to my rightful self!

    Oh BTW: What was the next step after writing down all of the names?

  18. Thanks for the above post i have hurt ,rejected and God is now taking me through a process of healing and deliverance through your teaching .
    God does not want me to miss my destiny and delay any more .
    I declare that am loved ,am accepted and highly favoured .

  19. Please pray for me that the spirit of delay will be broken from my life.

    Nicholas
    Kenya

  20. From a cold distant father growing u to divorce, job losses, and many broken relationships. With every unexpected change I can see where these spirits step in again to isolate me and back into depression and believing the lies. Always has been a struggle with career, and being single. I constantly push ppl away. Thank you for this teaching. I am interested in learning more.

  21. Selma Nelson says:

    Jaime, I was sensing that the Lord was bringing me into a way out of this pain of rejection and abandonment which led to me rejecting myself. I had found out years ago that my natural mom had tried to abort me herself(with a piece of metal) and my birth dad had beat her so she would miscarry me. The Lord showed me that in the womb as the beatings were taking place, I was trying to move away from the blows. The Lord in His mercy showed me at another time, that He had put His own hand in the womb. He said “What does man know, she’s exactly what I expected.”
    As a child, I never felt wanted and lived in a house where no one even like each other. Also, beginning as a child, I started to try to harm myself just to see if anyone cared. I became suicidal at the age of 10 years old. I don’t remember ever liking myself, only loathing myself.
    As an adult now, I have developed a fear of being in places where people might get to know me. Just this week,I almost had a panic attack from the anxiety of being around people feeling so worthless. I am feeling overwhelmed. I want to be free. Could I please get the steps in overcoming this? I believe the Lord led me to your blog today.
    Thank you, Jaime

    Selma

  22. Tanzier Dixon says:

    This most definitely for me in this season of my life. Thanks for this eye opener. I need more info.

  23. Jamie I am crying as I read this blog. I thought I had dealt with my issues around being abandoned at 13 when my dad left my mum and my siblings rejected me, even to this day. I am in my 50s. Your blog highlighted so much to me that needs to be resolved. God bless you for writing this.

  24. Disenogile says:

    Hi Jamie

    Thanks for your article.
    I come from a country called Namibia. During my childhood, in the 70s, we were under Apartheid. As a result my mom and dad had to work in the cities for white people and we had to remain in the Bantustan or labour reserves. I was raised by my grandparents.
    I knew who mom was and I grew up thinking I had a relationship with her.
    I knew who my dad was but I had no relationship with him.
    As a child growing up, I became aware that I had no strong relationship with my mom. I was aware of the strong bond between mom and my elder sister. And I always wished I could connect with mom at that level.

    In the early 2015 my dad passed on. His relatives could not bury him due to a lack of finances. They then approached me to assist. Being a God fearing person I am, I ended up spending my money to bury my dad.

    In May 2016 my mom got a stroke and she could not Walk, she needed constant help with dressing her self, bathing. We had to put her on nappies and hire home nursing.

    Taking care of my mom had its benefits and it also brought forth so much pain in my life.
    My siblings left the entire responsibility for taking care of mom with me. I resented them for that and it also caused so much conflict among us.

    There was also the benefit for me to be close to mom. For us to know each other. One day while mom was sick she said to me “I realize that I don’t know you”. Hearing this words from mom was so painful, but it was also so true. At that age I was in my early 40s. I knew that mom and I had no relationship what so ever.

    Because I always felt abandoned and rejected I always attracted men who never committed in relationship to me. After several failed relationships and 1 failed marriage. I knew the answer to attracting men who never committed lied within me, because I always felt insecure.

    The answer was not with the men in my life. But who I was. And how I was approaching relationships.

    As you requested that we should make a list of people who abandoned and rejected us. I was not surprised to count less than 3 men in my entire life, who had treated me with kindness, compassion and love.

    As for the rest, it was a roller coaster.

    I prayed to God that I need to heal, before I can venture into relationships again.
    I do understand that the healing is a process, and it is always work in progress.

    I am willing to start the journey.

  25. I’m 2 years behind on this, but how can I find the 2nd part of this teaching so as to find out what to do with the list I’ve made?

  26. Amberlee Bridges says:

    I have always been the outcast, my dad left at a young age, came back and left for good. I live in the same city and he won’t see me or my kids. My ex husband left me, and I just found out my current husband is leaving. The only good friend I ever had died 3 years ago in a car accident. I’m devastated. I feel so alone.

    1. Amberlee, I am praying for you. You cling to Father God; He is a perfect Father, not at all like your earthly dad. Abba Father is perfect and loves you beyond anything you could ever imagine. He is with you right now, to keep you, and you can cling to Him.
      Love and hugs,
      Jamie

  27. I’ve had so many people abandon me over the course of my life it’s almost cringe worthy. Back in 2012 God delivered me, but I walked back into it when a woman I’d pursued (and failed in my pursuit) suddenly had an interest and I abandoned God to pursue her once again. I received that I did not deserve to be abandoned, but not that God the Father would never leave nor forsake me. I’ve been ensnared in this trap that everyone would abandon me and I don’t deserve it, causing me to fall back into my rage and anger over it. Thank you for leaving this post up!

  28. Jamie,
    For the last several years the Lord has been healing me through prayer and repentance by showing me all the bad decisions I made, bad reactions to circumstances, unforgiveness, many of these things stemming from early childhood. While preparing myself I came across your article and found your experiences, seemingly, mirror my own. It was a great read and I think I can “feel” your spirit and some of what you must have gone through. Tonight (Lord willing) through evening prayers we will deal with abandonment. Thank you for sharing yourself with us.
    Al

  29. This post if speaking to me in a mighty way, I have been avoiding dealing with this and I actually had these tabs open to for months then a situation arose where I could no longer afford to put dealing with this. I have a long list of people who have abandoned me rejected me. Jesus! I need you to heal me! I am ready to heal and to confront what’s been happening in my mind heart and soul.

  30. Imari Boyd says:

    It’s 2022, and this still hits the spot. It just goes to show that God’s Word is constant and His love never changes! Thank you for letting Him use you. I appreciate this Word of encouragement during my period of long suffering. Praise God!

  31. Thank you so much! I can’t wait to check back in after doing my homework assignment!!

  32. Wow this explains a lot
    As a child you don’t understand and you will use survival skills to cope with the rejection, lack of love etc I could write a book or two on rejection in my life.I will definitely be doing the work on this

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