Encouragement for Singles Who Desire to Be Married

If you're single and desire to be married, Papa God has not forgotten you. Read here for an encouraging word! | By Jamie Rohrbaugh FromHisPresence.comToday is Valentine’s Day. It’s a day that I love, but I didn’t always feel that way. For many years, before I got married, Valentine’s Day made me very sad, lonely, and discouraged. If you are single and desire to be married, I would like to share my heart with you today.

First, I get it. I know what it’s like to try to put on a brave face in front of everyone else, but to crumple in tears as soon as you’re alone. I know what it’s like to see everyone else get flowers and candy from their spouses, but you get none. I know what it’s like to see seemingly-happy couples everywhere you go–holding hands, kissing, going on dates–when your heart aches to be with the one God has for you.

I know.

But precious friend, I would like to reassure you today.

Papa God has not forgotten you. He also knows how you feel. He knows every pain in your heart, and He sees every tear you cry. 

He knows you desire to be married. He knows your heart yearns for the one you sense He has for you. If you desire a loving, godly spouse, He gave you that desire… and He did it because He has someone special just for you.

I don’t know how long it will be before you and your spouse will be together.

I don’t know what’s going on in your life, and I don’t know what’s going on in your spouse’s life. But he or she exists. Papa loves your spouse as much as He loves you, and He will bring you together at exactly the right time.

In the meantime, these are precious days. I know they are lonely sometimes, but these days can never be replaced. They are days in which you have the opportunity to draw closer to God than you ever have before. Please, please, please, precious friend, take advantage of them:

  • Make plans in the evenings to go home after work and be with the Lord.
  • Ask Papa to help you get in His Word like never before.
  • Ask Him to make you a man or woman of prayer.
  • Pray now for your spouse, just like you would if you were already with him or her!
  • Ask the Lord to help  you to know Jesus, the Lover of your soul.

Invoke your holy imagination and imagine yourself snuggling up to Papa’s chest.

It’s safe there; you can cry your heart out if you need to, and He will comfort you. Let Him love you. Pour your heart out to Him. Tell Him about everything in your life, including your desire to be married, and let Papa minister to you, comfort you, and fill your heart with His Presence and love.

Beloved, your Father in Heaven sees and knows. He loves you so much. He knows this waiting time is not easy, but He also sees the beautiful, bright, glorious future He has for you.

So rest in Him. Wrap yourself in His love. Receive all His beautiful words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts, hugs, and all the time He wants to spend with you. He loves you. His heart beats for you. He is protecting you right now. When the time is right, though, and everything is ready, He will bring you the one that you will spend your life with.

Blessings and comfort to you today, precious friend. May the God of all comfort show you His love more today than ever before.

Love,

Jamie.

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36 Comments

  1. Clare Speer says:

    Very sweet perspective and thanks for the reminder how much God loves us! And how much He cares!

  2. Rafael-Olivier Somma says:

    I know that the Lord Jesus will bring the rightful spouse at the right time in my life. I also ask him to bring me the right job in which I will enjoy myself and where I can help others and spread His Word…

    1. Yes, He will. And He will answer your prayers for the right job too. He has big, wonderful plans for your life, and He will perfect all things that concern you as you seek Him!

  3. Anton Herbst says:

    I have read this whole article and it is absolutely stunning. But i dont feel His love for me as i dont see His hand in my love life. In my normal everyday life i have an amazing relationship with God but my “love” life. I dont see anything. Promises have been given but the delivery is not happening. And as i am only human how would you encourage a person in my situation.

    1. Hi Anton. I’m sorry you’ve been discouraged. I know Papa loves you very much. He sent Jesus just for you. He gave up His best for you, so you could have Him and everything that is His best for you.
      I would encourage you to read my entire series (the button is in the left sidebar) called “How To Feel Like God Loves You.” I believe those posts will be an encouragement to you. I wrote them out of my own story about longing for a spouse. I’d love to hear what you think if you read.
      May you be blessed and encouraged today. Thank you for reading and sharing.

  4. Just found this post on Pinterest and I do find it encouraging as a 43 year old never married single Christian woman. But, what if God’s will is a life time of singleness? How can one be certain that the “one” God has for you is someone that actually exisits. Paul mentions himself in 2 Corinthians 7 that it is better to remain single than to marry so that one can serve the Lord without distraction. I guess I am in a place where I don’t want to get my hopes up that someone who is created to be my spouse actually exists if I am to remain single for life.

    1. Hi Melanie. Thank you for reading my blog. That’s a great question, and one that probably a lot of people are asking in their hearts. I pray I can answer it a little bit, but even more I pray that the Holy Spirit would speak to you about it.

      Psalm 37:4 tells us: “Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.” Isn’t it interesting that God said that if you delight yourself in Him, He will give you the desires of YOUR heart? Sometimes Christians preach the opposite. They say that our dreams might not be God’s will. But the actual truth of the Bible is that YOU are God’s dream; and it pleases Him for you to dream; and every good and holy dream is from Him.

      And regarding having a godly spouse, He said in Genesis 2:18: “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” Part of God’s original plan for you was to be joined in intimacy to a godly spouse. Does He give the gift of celibacy/singleness to some, as the apostle Paul wrote? Yes; but God’s gifts are only good gifts and bring joy. If you had that gift, I personally believe you would not have the desire for a spouse; and any gift from the Holy Spirit would produce the fruit of the Spirit in your life–joy and peace, not loneliness or longing for something else.

      So precious sister, the best I can say is this: If you desire a spouse, that desire is from God and He will give you the desire of your heart. I don’t know how or when, but as you pointed out yourself, God’s Word itself says to let every person have his or her spouse. (1 Corinthians 7:2: “Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.”) So God’s Word says you can have a husband, God’s dream says you can have a husband, and God’s original plan of creation says you can have a husband. Looking at all that put together, I believe you can have a husband if you desire one. 🙂

      I hope this helps. Blessings to you. Love to hear about it if this resonates with you. 🙂 Have a great day!

      1. Dan ThDaThomas says:

        Re-read this today – somewhat encouraging. Learned the hard way – churches are majority married. Single people just not that welcome. Had to “encourage myself in the Lord” just as King David did while exiled. That’s bad to say about church – pastors preach about the worldly singles lifestyle but do little to nothing to offer encouragement. When a single person desires marriage, and attends church, being told “maybe this is God’s will for you” is horrible and likely one of main reasons singles do not attend church. 52% US not married. Won’t see that represented in churches. Lucky to be much as 5.2%

      2. Jamie, this is exactly what I needed to hear as I’ve read your devotional just the other day about praying for a spouse and it truly encourages me. Especially the scripture where it says every wife/husband shall have their own spouse. I was in a long term marriage that ended in betrayal. And I do believe that I was blessed once and have to keep faith God will do it again but this time with a man of real faith in him. Thank you and i printed out the prayers. You bring such hope and peace as I go thru times of throwing the towel in and being angry and start to spiral down and lose faith. 💕

    2. Dan Thomas says:

      Paul was writing to Corinthian church. His advice on staying single was aimed at those, like he was, specially called to ministry.
      But Paul also indicated we have a choice. Those called if any to be single God would equip with gift of Celibacy. Otherwise He just set us up for taunting – place the desire & sexual urges then not help us follow through. My Daddy does not taunt !!! He gave us Mark 11:24, Mat 18:19, Prov 18:22 & 19:14.
      We have His Word about whatsoever things we desire & marriage was ordained by God & He never drops the ball.
      Churches & many pastors have failed us as we are many times told not to pursue marriage & claim what Abba said we could have. TAKE DOMINION. Claim & possess marriage. Prepare for it as Paul prepared for his ministry. Men should become debt free, trim themselves up & slim down. They should elim addictions, and learn what is expected by God for their future wives. Ladies, you have your to-do list. Both genders need to pray about what could be blocking receipt of marriage blessing. I am planning my work & working my plan … compliments of my big brother Jesus the KING of kings AND ABBA my father and the HOLY SPIRIT my mentor & encourager.

      Come on team – let’s go have Dominion as we were created to do. Jaime has rallied us together. Satan needs a hard swift kick on his rear, and be reminded of Rev 20:10.

      Dan T who is eager for his new spouse that he hasn’t met yet.
      Bless you all. Could one of you be the next Mrs Dan ? ??

  5. Ron Phipps says:

    I just read this article about being single and wanting to get married…I’ve always wanted that for myself , but because either I had the wrong motives , wasn’t mature enough or that I have sin in my life , has kept me from finding the right person…I wish that I could receive prayer about this and any advice or comments you feel you could offer…thank you…

    1. Hi Ron, my advice would simply be Matthew 6:33. If you seek God first, not only will He grow you and mature you, but through your obsession with Jesus, He will crowd out the sin from your life, change your heart, and bring you every good and perfect gift and every desire of your heart. It’s God’s promise to you, and while you seek Him, He’ll fill you with fullness of joy so that you can even enjoy the process. 🙂

  6. Thank you so much!!! This touched me, and I believe that God led me to this article. I’ve been so despondent lately in waiting on a spouse, but your words encouraged me to the point where I’m crying joyful tears. I prayed at one time that God would even take away my desire for marriage because it hurt so bad waiting on someone, but he hasn’t. In fact, it’s gotten stronger. Lol. After reading what you wrote, I realize that it’s a God given desire, and it’s good. It will come to pass, otherwise the desire wouldn’t be there. I can’t thank you enough for blessing me today with these words!!

    1. Nikki, precious sister, I feel your heart in your words. Our Papa will bring you the greatest desire of your heart. Just be sure to seek Him first, and all these things will be added to you. Matthew 6:33. As you seek the Rewarder, He will give you His rewards and blessings. And He will fill you with His Spirit and comfort and love in the meantime. I pray Papa would encourage you and lift you up this very moment. In Jesus’ name.

  7. Brandon Duncan says:

    As a true follower of JESUS who has been blessed to witness and live out miracles that only Father God can give and bestow upon us, I find your article to be very encouraging and needed for our brothers and sisters who are currently in the desert alone.
    I myself am in that same desert and only the WORD helps me through the darkest moments and your writing is certainly God inspired, so thank you for sharing what God has blessed you with.

    1. It was indeed very encouraging

  8. Rachel Greer says:

    I’ve struggled a lot with loneliness and depression in the past few years. I’ve gotten better, but it’s still hard. I go to church, but I don’t really have any close friends. And pretty much everyone in my family has someone except me. My brother and two of my cousins and their wives are having their first children. Meanwhile, I’m 23 and have never dated once. I don’t have a lot of self-confidence because I have high-functioning autism, and I just think this is all taking a toll on my faith life.

    I’ve told to get to know God and read his word. I know some might find joy in doing that, but for me it’s a chore. I’ve spent most of my life trying to measure up and am tired of feeling like it’s never enough. I just don’t want to have a relationship with a book or a cosmic spirit.

    1. Hi Rachel. I’m sorry you’re hurting and lonely. I would encourage you to get to know Abba Father God as a real Person. He’s definitely not a book or some random cosmic spirit, but He IS right beside you right now, and He lives inside you if you have given your life to Jesus. And He loves you so very, very much. He’s outrageously wild about you. And if you will seek Him, and ask Him to help you get to know Him, you will find that He is more beautiful than you could ever imagine–and that He will be your best Friend, and will answer every cry of your heart.
      Many blessings to you, dear friend.

  9. It’s funny how God sometimes talks to us. Last night I couldn’t find sleep thinking what will happen to me now that am still single and still believing God connects me to a godly man. It feels lonely and as you said , many tears. I believe that He is a good God and yet sometimes I feel like He completely forgot about that one thing in my life. Thanks for your post , it really encourages me this morning. Please pray for us singles as sometimes it can be really hard . Blessings

  10. Dan Thomas says:

    Jesus says you have not because you ask not, or you ask amiss meaning asking without believing you will receive. Oops. Bringing me closer to Jesus as my brother & Abba as my Daddy, I take his word in MAT 18:19 and Mark 11:24. At soon 64, divorced, I am confidently expecting financial restoration, and a spouse to finish my life with. In that order. Nothing like having the best big brother & daddy in all creation !!!

    My encouragement: I have my Daddy’s word on what I have asked for.

    My part? TO BELIEVE that I have received the desires I prayed for.

    Best to you, Jamie, for this forum.

    1. Rashidat Kassim says:

      Glory Halleluyah than You Jesus. Thank you and God bless you Janie.
      Thank ma for your inputs and words of encouragements. You have also inspired me as I believe God that I will also remarry again. I am 53 years old and can not wait for divorce to be final. Pray and believe God for restoration in all that I have lost, financial restoration, a new home, spiritual growth, best of health and sound mind for my babies and 1 and my destined husband

  11. Thank you once again Jamie. Very encouraging and inspiring not give up in the waiting. God bless you richly

  12. Av been encouraged by your article not to give up and that God still has a husband for me. Am 28 and still single and currently not dating anyone, though at times i feel so lonely and having witnessed my small cousins and friends get married and have children i still wonder when my time will come.
    i have a cleft lip which left a scar on the side of my nose and upper lip and i sometimes think that it could be the cause of why am still since at times i find myself not attractive. I wonder if these promises will be fulfilled in my life.

  13. Thank you Jamie for this encouraging words, I know that things do come in time and this is an example of it….you wrote this article almost 4 years ago and yet I just run into it. No doubt the Lord wanted me to read this so I can be encouraged too! I’m sure he has someone great in store for each of us who long this desire, and in his perfect timing he will make things happen! Bless you all!

  14. Thanks Jamie. This is a very insightful and encouraging article. I am truly blessed and uplifted as I am reminded that I am unconditionally loved by the greatest lover of all and I can wrap myself in His embrace.

  15. Irene D Jones says:

    Amen I know when God is ready that husband will come. I am happy God told me he loves me eternaly.

  16. Annanson John says:

    Most very grateful. Pray for me to be equipped and loose for marriage. Time is not my best ally. 46 never married, no child, fighting tooth and nail to keep moving and get things in order.

  17. I’m also experiencing the same as Anton. It’s so hard to wait for a spouse. I hold back my tears everytime I see couples hold hands some even rub it on my face. I’ve prayed and honestly I can’t seem to see any way. I really need some encouragement.

  18. Elizabeth Tuinidau says:

    It is not a easy topic to share about,but Jamie i thanked you for sharing these with us.I read all the comments and i thought it’s only me that going through tears evevryday.It really touched my life to hear my dear sisters and brothers are going through what i’m going thtough also.But my foundation is in the Word-Trust in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart amd Seek Him first and All these things will be added unto you.To tell you all the truth I shed tears everyday and i want to get matried and to settle down but it takes long.I seek Abba everyday but still am waiting. Valentine brings me hurt but to seek God it gives me peace.I love my husband to be and i love my Abba so much than him. Love you all my brothers and sisters who are going through hard times in this area but remember Abba He is in you and He will wipe that tears and give us joy soon.

  19. I read all these comments of people unmarried and desiring to but it not happening despite persistent prayer and I can’t help but feel discouraged. If their prayers are not answered what hope do I have?

    1. Hi Olivia,
      Is your hope in someone else’s situation or is your hope in Christ? And if your hope is in Christ, who exactly IS Jesus Christ?
      Therein lies your answer.
      Blessings,
      Jamie

  20. Thank you Jamie for sharing this specially today, I know God has a plan for all of us although it seems difficult sometimes to follow. I accept his will and pray that each of us will stay in peace knowing that the one who loves us the most has a plan in place according to his perfect will. I praise God and keep praying on this and future spouse as well as for all whom I share this feeling with. God bless you!

  21. Thankyou for resharing Jamie. I nerded the comfort today. I believe God has a husband for me. Psalm 37:4 says Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of yor heart. SO Lord I delight in you and I look with anticipation for how you will bring me and my God appointed husband together. AMEN

  22. Thank you so much, Jamie! I really needed this tonight and I am so thankful I found and read it!

    Because He cares,

    Rebekah
    Psalm 84:11

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