Beloved, have all the people who have tried to love you in your life failed spectacularly? Do you feel lonely and alone, starved for affection? If so, today's sample prayer for when no one loves you can start your healing process.
Related: Read the first post in this series here: Prayer for When You Don't Fit In
Sweet friend, no matter who you are, if you feel like no one loves you, it hurts.
You were made to be loved; Father God created you because He loved you even before He put your spirit and soul into a body in the womb of your mother. He brought you to earth for such a time as this because He loves you so much, and He yearns for your companionship.
God loves you.
But when people don't–or when people try to love you, but they can't or don't love you very well because they are so wounded themselves–then it brings pain and heartache. And if you're in that place right now, I want to encourage you.
Related: Read my free Healing from Rejection and Abandonment series here.
First, even if you don't feel like it yet, it's the most important thing to acknowledge the truth: that God loves you.
His love is never-failing. He is faithful to you and will always be faithful to you. His heart beats for you; the Bible says that He loves you with an everlasting love, and with great mercy He has borne you all the days of your life.
Your Father in Heaven, Jesus Christ His Son, and His precious Holy Spirit love you with an everlasting love. They crave to be with you so much that God sent His Son to be Immanuel–which means “God With Us”–because He just had to come down to our level. It wasn't because of obligation; He stooped to meet us and catch us up into His arms, saving all who believe in Him from sin and giving us eternal life with Him, because He loves us so much.
As it says in John 3:16-17:
“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.”
Beloved, God loves you. If you want to dig deeply into that–and you should–then read my free blog series here about How to Feel Like God Loves You.
But when people fail to love you, it can be excruciatingly painful.
There are multiple ways to deal with the pain, and almost all of them are destructive (like overeating, fornicating, losing yourself in a fake world like a video game, doing drugs, etc.). The only ways that will actually help you deal with a lack of love, that I know of anyway, are:
- Forgive all the people who have failed to love you rightly;
- Pray about it and pour your heart out to the Father, asking Him for help in the way I show you in the sample prayer below;
- Read God's Word daily, eating it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, because the words that Jesus speaks are spirit and they are LIFE (John 6:63)–and you need life when you feel unloved!
- Meditate on God's love until you fill up with His love in your heart and actually feel it;
- Get into good, solid Christian counseling, and stay there until you're healed; and
- Take practical steps to build godly, loving relationships in your life, even with friends. (Those relationships don't have to be romantic in order to heal your heart.)
All of the steps above are important, and I could preach a long time on every single one of them.
However, in this blog post, my goal is simpler than that:
- I want to show you how to pray when no one on earth loves you.
- I want to show you that you can pour out your heart to God with this prayer for when no one loves you, and He will listen and understand.
- I want you to see that, when you cast your burdens upon the Lord, He will sustain you, heal your heart, lift your head, and comfort you.
- I want to show you that pouring your heart out to the Lord is better than keeping your pain inside, any day of the week.
Because my God will comfort you and fill you with His love anytime you ask.
Beloved, don't keep your hurt trapped inside. Don't allow you heart to bleed on and on. At the first moment you feel pain …
At the first moment you sense the sting of rejection …
At the instant your heart crumples and you feel you are going to die from lack of having anyone care about you on the whole planet …
In that moment, you must go to the Father. For your own good, beloved. Father God and His precious Holy Spirit are ready and willing to help you the very moment you begin to hurt.
And He will help you.
If you're hurting today and ready to pour your heart out to the Lord, pray this sample prayer for when no one loves you:
“Dear Heavenly Father, I come before You in Jesus' name.
Father, thank You for hearing me pray right now. Thank You that Your Word says You love me with an everlasting love, and You bend Your ear to help me and hear me. I love You so much, Father, and I need You right now. Thank You for being here for me.
Father God, my heart hurts because I need love in my life.
I don't want to go down into self-pity and make things worse, Father. But I need to tell You about this because You are the only One who can help me. So, as I tell You about these things:
- Please help me to keep my eyes on You:
- Help me to maintain a right attitude and look to You, keeping my eyes on Jesus, the Author and Finisher of my faith.
- I pray that Holy Spirit would help me pray right now, and would intercede for me and pray through me right now. Thank You, Father.
Father, first, I choose to forgive all the people who have ever hurt me or failed to love me.
I choose to leave these things, let them go, and give up all resentment. Please forgive me for holding bitterness, anger, unforgiveness, hatred, resentment, and even a spirit of murder against those people. Please fill me with Your Holy Spirit where that was. Forgive them also and draw them close to You, Father. Thank You.
Now Father, I tell You this without anger towards anybody, but simply because You are the only One who can help:
Abba Father, I feel like no one really loves me in this whole world.
I know You love me, Father, but I'm talking about humans here. The people in my life growing up who should have loved me were too wounded to truly love anybody. They were too busy with other things; preoccupied with themselves and with things that don't matter. They didn't love me, Father, not truly; and that hurts.
Father God, I also feel like the people around me who should love me, don't. They know my love languages, but they don't try to speak them. They take me for granted and use me a lot, and I love them, but there's no reciprocation of real love toward me.
Father, I feel like an alien and stranger on the earth.
I long to be in relationship and community, but people don't want to be in community with me. It makes me wonder sometimes, Lord, if there is something wrong with me.
But Father, Your Word says that my life was ordained by You. You are working on my character and You have placed me on the earth for such a time as this. I am Your inheritance and Your portion, even though I really cannot fathom why You would want me. But You do, Lord; You picked me; and You love me.
So Abba Father, I need Your help right now.
I ask right now in Jesus' name that You would minister to me personally, more deeply than I could ever reach myself. I ask You to baptize me in Your love, anew and afresh. I ask You to help me sense Your love and affection; to receive Your love deeply in my heart, mind, soul, spirit, and even my physical body more than I have ever sensed and received Your love.
Father, I ask also that You would help me to fill up on Your Word right now, for the words which Jesus speaks are spirit and life (John 6:63). I need to be filled with life right now, Lord. So please make me hungry and thirsty for You and for Your Word and for righteousness, and I will be filled (Matthew 5:6).
Father, I ask You in Jesus' name for an attitude adjustment.
There have been times in my life when I was okay with this lack of love, Lord. I was so full of You, Your love, and Your Word that I didn't need to receive anything from people. Please help me to get back there, Father:
- Fill me with Your love.
- Let my spirit, soul, and body be awash in Your spectacular, earth-shattering, sending-Your-Son-to-die-on-a-cross love for me.
- Teach me to dine every day on Your love, as revealed in Your Word. That will help me keep my eyes on You and receive love from You for sure.
But Father, I ask You also for practical help in my relationships:
- Please bring me into contact with the right people with whom I can be covenant friends–not just co-laborers, but real friends.
- Please speak to my spouse (or future spouse, if you're single) and teach them right now how to love me well.
- Teach me how to love my spouse well, too. Help us to love one another the way YOU have prescribed in 1 Corinthians 13.
- Please convict me and the people around me for our failure to walk in true, Biblical love toward one another.
- Please teach us all how to change and begin loving one another and dwelling in community the way Your Word says we should.
Father, please bring me into contact with the right people with whom I should be in relationship–but deliver me from the wrong people. Take my friendships and form them rightly, as only You can do.
Father, I do ask You also and specifically for mutual friendships.
Please bring me into contact with people who want to do life together:
- Please deliver me from people who only want to use me.
- Deliver me from people who are so self-centered that they want me to be their friend, but they don't want to be my friend.
- I ask You for healthy friendships and a healthy marriage, Father, and that You would deliver me from every unholy expectation and every unhealthy relationship.
Father, teach me to be a true friend and reach out.
Your Word says that, to have friends, a person must show himself friendly. Therefore:
- Please teach me how to show myself friendly and be a friend to others.
- Fill me up with so much of Your love that I just ooze love to all the people around me.
- Use me to heal hearts and be a true friend to all the people You desire to connect me with, and help those people to do the same.
- Help me to care more about other people's loneliness than I do about my own shyness. Help me to be comfortable reaching out, Father, knowing that most of the people around me are desperately lonely too.
Father, I love You so much. Thank You for listening as I pour out my heart to You. Please help me to be enraptured by Your love and by the love of Jesus. Help me to be overcome and overwhelmed with Your Holy Spirit's love in my heart.
Thank You, Father. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. In Jesus' name, amen.”
Beloved, if you feel like no one loves you, look to Jesus.
Looking to Jesus is the first and most important step. To solve things practically, you will also have to follow the Lord's leading and reach out to other people, becoming a friend and building relationships. You may need to get in with a good Christian counselor so you can have a safe place to talk without anyone being harsh with you.
But beloved, JESUS is the only One who can and will help you with all these things. And ultimately, His love can and will heal you all by itself, if you will but feed on His love daily.
Does this sample prayer for when no one loves you help you today? Did you pray the prayer? If so, please leave a comment below.